To:

"Lauren" (Best Friend in UK)

From [email protected]
Subject: The Good and The Bad

Hey sweety!!! 😀 OMG its been so long, and I miss you! I cant afford to keep calling you, so I have to resort to sending emails from the Library PCs on campus, and theyre so slow as shit, thats if they arent vandalised. Sorry I missed your birthday, I feel bad its the first one I couldnt get hammered with you in the local, did the landlord kick you out for crap kareoke again? How's your brother? Still smoking weed and pissin you off? 8)

You won't believe things here. I dont know where to start. PLEASE save up to come visit me, I need to hear a local accent! Im afraid of getting a twang and getting ridiculed when I get home, and no one understands our slang. I still laugh at Fanny Pack...

I know I said I'd probably not last 6 months but, I am in my second year now at CU. and Ive finally settled in! It took a while, and I know you were worried when i used to call you those first few weeks, but I stayed didnt I?, I didnt run. Thanks for persuading me, you know your the only one I would listen to <3 I still miss you so bad.
But one day I will come home, after I get my degree, I need to make something of my life, and you know how things were in Manchester :(Here at least the sun always shines, and I never have to wear my wellies.

Firstly, I have good news!!! and bad news :/

Bad news first.
I know your the only one who knows this back home, but you know we had to move here to collect Seb? I still hate my dad, detest him for what he did, taking away my baby cos I was too young. But I thought at last I had a chance to be Seb's mum, and he's fucked it up all over again. Seeing Seb after 6 years was, like a stab to the heart. He has my dark hair, but he has Sly's eyes. I missed out on so much. Seeing him reminds me of his dad, and thats weird. Where is Sly now? Did he go to Leeds Uni? My dad wouldnt ever let me see him again, and it's been 6 years. I tried searching him on FB but..there are so many Danny / Daniel Smith's. But OMG he was so adorable. He's 6, and he had a french accent, obviously cos of my grandparents bringing him up. And he's so full of mischief! I attached a pic of him, you will melt!
But...anyway..sighs I actually tried my hardest to make it work. But Hathian, its a bad place 🙁 He started copying behaviour he saw from gangs, he skipped school, and he tried to steal things for us cos he knew I was struggling - It was so cute it broke my heart 😥 2 bar jobs werent enough as well as studying to support us it seemed.

Anyway, my dad, unexpectedly came and saw my trailer. Can you beleieve, he didnt even offer to help me, he could see how hard I tried. He called me a disgrace, reminded me how I brought shame on the family. It was my fault we had to leave England. he took Seb from me, shouting he would send him to boarding school, where he had a "better chance at life", and would "actually get three meals a day". I was heartbroken, I kept thinking of the way he bundled him into his car like a nightmare. I dont think I will ever speak to him again, i hate him so much its unbearable to cope with. The only positive is, I hope Seb can forgive me someday, and get a good education. I hope he can come see me in holidays.

Good...
On a lighter note there was something which cheered me up, after weeks of torment. I met someone. I know I know..you wouldnt believe it. You know how I avoid men, after Sly... But, something about this guy has gotten under my skin, he seems to have bypassed all the barriers I usually put up. Even the drinking and acting cocky, he sees through it, or at least doesnt class that as me. Ok...the next part is ..a bit of a surprise. He's older..like..34. Before you ring me immediately, I may as well get this part out the way too. He's my teacher. Don't shout at me! You would understand if you saw him, what the attracttion is... 😉
He found me, shivering from shock in a hospital, sounds ridiculous? lol. But things happen out here every day that would leave you reeling. (Don't worry I'm ok..) He walked me home, stayed with me all night. I know you think...LEX hes only after one thing. But I honestly dont think he is, he listens to me. And, he's not childish like some of the frat boys.

This has been going on for weeks and...well we decided to give things a go, I can't believe it, I guess I have a man 😮 Who knows how long it lasts, you would be laughing right now, my views on ..the dreaded committment. But he makes me trust him, he looks after me.I wont tell you all the shit he has helped me through, but its a lot. And for that I realise he really is something special. I've been staying at his apartment and..well he makes me feel safe. Sounds stupid hey? But I think you will understand how much I of all people would appreciate it. No more bruises to hide with your concealer.

When you visit, you can meet him, tell me what you think! I'll try to get a pic of him soon,I know you will be DYING to see him. And he makes great shots! We should introduce him to Slippery Nipples 😉

Other shit!: I have a new job at a pub called The Dirty Glass, I can now walk in heels, I still have your denim jacket, and I will try to save up for a flight home at Christmas. Reserve me your bro's season ticket for Rovers when i'm back!

Give my love to the rents, and miss you more than I miss Lancashire Hot pot xxxx <3
PS: Tell my grandma I am happy if you see her in Asda