They gave me a book. To write my thoughts and shit down in. The nurses. And I'm sitting here not knowing what to put, what to write, how to explain the thoughts that keep tripping through my fucked up brain.
What do you say? When something truly bad happened to you, when someone, an invisible enemy that you can't even remember, did things to you, for reasons you don't know. What the fuck do you say?
I wish i could remember. It would solve so much, answer so many questions that i have. About who i am, what i did to deserve this, what was done to me. But maybe it's better to not remember.
Because, what if who i was, was something bad? What if i deserved what happened to me? What if there's nothing TO remember?
No. That's not what i mean. What i mean is, no one has come to visit me, except the paramedic that saved my life, Grace.
Every second of my life before i woke up here is just gone. People have no idea just how frustrating, how terrifying that is. I have nothing, not even a set of clothes. I am nothing. I have no friends. No family. No colleagues, no lovers or girlfriends. Boyfriends? Jesus, i don't even know what my own sexuality is. How fucked up is that?!
Except, no one seems to know me, do they? No one has come to visit me. Which probably means that there's no one out there to miss me. What kind of a person doesn't have friends, family? A spy? A killer? What happened to me?
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