29.08.2013:

Sometimes I wonder who writes all those crazy stories? If there is a god, he really seems to have some fucked up ideas.

Still recovering from that Crow attack, still recovering from my crash. This is not how it should be, I should be running and racing, but instead I'm hanging in my chair unable to move from it. I'm getting impatient, but I know it won't heal from one day to the other. It has to tho, what if my sponsors leave me? What if I get thrown out of the team and somebody else takes my spot?

It was always my dream to race in F1, but what seemed to be getting closer now pulls away from me. I put my hand out to it, trying to keep it by my side, but it won't come closer again. I really fear my dream might be over, I fear Hathian will get me, it started to do so already.

I told you about the Crow attack dear diary. If I had been able to run that never would have happened, they wanted to force feed me, that pale chick, the grey haired dude and that disgusting pig man. Really feel bad writing it that way, but I can't do it any different. Of course I have met his boyfriend and he said Milo -apparantly the name of the pig man- isn't all bad, but he just scares the hell out of me.

Pippin wants to take revenge, I told him that's stupid, cause if he takes revenge, they will take revenge too, also he would put himself in dangers way. Really don't want to loose my brother, he and Mera is all family I have. Just hope he will for once listen to me. Sometimes I think I'm the smartest of our family and I'm not even an adult.

Mera been out and about again, rarely seeing her recently, wonder what she is doing, maybe another movie? Still not sure how to feel about my sister being a porn actress, Pippin hates it, I can understand why.

In the end I can't tell my siblings what to do, they are grown ups, they have to decide what they do themselves, just hope they don't do stupid shit.

Met many people this week too, Pippins boyfriend, who is like a giant but really thin, so not scary. I like him, he came to me after the Crows attacked me. He brought me to Pip, he and another guy, who is really cute as well, no not cute in that way, more like his behaviour is really sweet. He's that boyfriend of the pigman, I feel a little bit sorry for him, he is not originally from america, but who is really? He bought me a salad today and we had a nice talk about stuff, mainly about Michi...

Yeah, you see dear diary, I think I might like Michi. Not all sure yet, but he is tough and amazing and nice and he wrote that article about me. But I need to think about that a while longer, I rather stay friends, than to ruin it with a stupid confession I'm not even sure about. I'm too young for love anyway and a racing driver can't be distracted by such things...

Reign said Michi likes me too, but I don't know maybe he said it in anger. He got totally angry at me and called me a liar, saying he thought I would have been different. Didn't really get what he was on about, I didn't lie to him, he quite possibly misunderstood me. Now he's not angry anymore, but the argument really made me sad. He's still one of my best friends tho, I hope we never argue again...

That's it from me dear diary, I will talk to you again soon, now I go sleep.

Bye