Lena’s Diary

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Anonymous

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I don't talk about the nightmares. I don't talk about the thoughts I have sometimes. I remember, though.

We have a new family now. A new daddy. Daddy's tall, and looks out for us. We're happy. Right?

I remember our old mommy and daddy leaving us in the car. Mina wanted to get out. I helped. We walked around. Slept outside. Found Tre. Tre took care of us. Gave us to Daddy.

I remember being angry. Angry all the time. I remember wanting to fight. Wanting to protect Mina. I remember.

I remember fighting. Fighting all the time. I remember being hit and falling down. I remember.

I remember meeting the man in the mask. He was nice. Gave me a mask. Gave me a knife. I liked him. The mask made me feel safe. Like if I'm not me no one can hurt me. I remember.

I remember seeing a fight. Slut was there. He was hurting people. I hate him. A boy was there. I was scared. Took out the knife. Wanted to protect Trin and Tre. I like them. I wasn't gonna use it. I was gonna give it to Tre. He came over. Picked me up by my hair. Hurt me. I cut him. I remember.

I remember standing on the sidewalk. Fuck came up. Talked to me. Hurt me. I dunno why. He didn't seem to know if I was Lena or Mina. Slut came up. Picked me up. Made me talk to Daddy. Wanted me to whimper. I told Daddy to kick his ass. I was angry. So angry. Slut hurt me. I remember warm wet on my shirt. I remember hitting the table. I remember pain. I remember.

I remember waking up. Trin was there. I tried to make her feel better. I remember waking up again. Daddy was there. I remember being sad. I didn't want him to not want me anymore. I didn't want to lose another daddy. I remember the look on his face as he talked to me. I remember.

I pretend not to remember. Easier. No one worries. I don't act scared. I smile. I talk sweetly. No one worries.

I don't talk about the nightmares. I don't talk about the thoughts I have sometimes. I remember, though.

April 5, 2009 at 12:23 am
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