Friday 11/12

I write this damn journal under duress. Dr. Flagg, who actually I'm also seeing under duress, seems to think I'm depressed...ME depressed.. anyone who knows me could tell him I'm one of the happiest people you'd ever care to meet...but fine whatever.

As I'm writing this it's 6:13 am and I've been out wandering,trying to put off this exercise in futility since 3 something when mom stumbled into the apartment dragging some random guy behind her...big surprise right? Start the day like any other,it doesn't matter though the Grind is open now and here I sit in my usual spot on the fallen 'D' that was once part of the sign scribbling in this useless book...I don't see how this is supposed to help me, especially if as he says no one else will ever read it, but I guess I might as well play along.

Let's see...anything important? Well I had another dream last night, I guess it was a nightmare but it didn't feel like one...There was a storm but it wasn't a storm..It rained...I don't know... static I guess is the best way to describe it,and anywhere the static landed just..dissapeared. I stood there watching the world slowly fade into white nothingness and I wasn't scared...it felt right. I wonder how Flagg would analyse that? Probably some b.s. about abandonment and lonliness..he seems to think everything in my life boils down to those two things. I guess that is it for today...Exciting right?