"Once I rose above the noise and confusion -
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion.."

The teenager moves to flop onto his couch, looking around his surroundings in the residence of one Rose Dickson that he was currently staying with. It seemed that couch surfing was something he did a lot of these days since he lived in Hathian...having transfered around friend's different homes like a lost dog. As he looked down to the shitty laptop that lay in front of him, remnants from his past as it had littered stickers of bands, various skulls and other knick-knacks he put on to try and make it his own, he began to think on why he was doing this. He had always heard that putting down your thoughts onto paper, digital or not, was a rather good way to wrap your head around what you were actually thinking about. He figured he might as well try...He flipped the top open, taking a few annoying seconds to try and use the damn trackpad to go over and open up Microsoft Word, and then began to type anything that came to mind.

So...do I start this off with a 'Hello'? A 'Dear Diary' maybe? I have no damn clue. I guess this is the first issue of my written life that I'm putting down, so maybe I should just start over from the very beginning. Maybe with one of those 'once upon a time' deals...Nah.

So it's been..what..maybe seven months now I think that I've been in the lovely city of Hathian, Louisiana. Has the smell of the nearby swamps actually gotten any less bad? Not really. I don't think I'll ever get used to that smell. Like..ever. But at least this place is a lot better then having to deal with my parents back home. They're the main reason I left, I guess. I never really knew why they acted how they did - and only towards me. Maybe because I'm the middle child and they decided to vent all there own frustrations onto the kid that didn't really matter all that much. They had the more successful older brother, and then the other brother who they just forgot existed because he turned to crime. I gueess I was looking up to Ciaran. He 'beat the system' that my parents put around the whole family. He was a rebel with no cause, no reason. Just pure instincts and nature taking over him. I guess he was my role model in a way, because I ended up doing the exact same thing as him. That is, getting into bad group of people, causing shit and mayhem and then skipping on out of town when heat got too bad. And that's where I am now.

He went to lean back a bit as he sighed, thoughts of his childhood muddling around in his brain as he moved to try and rub his temples. It felt as if he was getting a damn headache having to try and think of all the bad events that happened around his life, and he momentarily stopped his writing to get up and grab a bottle of Jamesons. Whiskey always helped his mind clear out somewhat. Flopping back down onto his couch, he looked at what he had written and then decided to do some more.

I gotta say my life's been both way, way more eventful down South then it has ever been in New York, but also it's been a lot more boring at times too. It's got this weird mix of high octane moments and then dull ones. I guess excitement all the time can get a bit boring too though...I've been nearly killed several times by now. One time by those crazy emo bitches trying to stab me and Randi..I'll talk about her in another entry otherwise I might be doing this one all night. Then there was the time I had my entire arm cut down the middle of it...had to get stitches down for that too. I really outta start carrying around weapons or something beacuse even though I think I'm an alright fighter-...I mean, I did boxing for a few years - I still can't do jack shit against people with tasers, knives or anything like that. Maybe one of those stun batons would work....huh. Something to look into I guess. Maybe eBay has one.

I would go into my more relationship-sided issues but, again, I'll save that for another journal because fuck me if drama doesn't follow me around no matter what. Maybe I'm just fucked up in the head when it comes to women and relationships, I have no clue. I did just admit that I loved a girl after hanging out with her for-..maybe a month at best. I have no clue why - or even why I feel like that. Maybe it's not love, maybe it is. And now I'm living with her, so that just makes things all the more awkward. She even asked me to join that gang that shes in, those Reapers. I have no clue if I actually do want to get back into that lifestyle, even if I did say yes to her. Maybe it'll do me some good...I've gotten too soft I think. I'm tired of being the underdog in this damn city. I wanna be put back on top. I guess it'd be nice to be in it. Means I can keep a closer eye on Rose. She's tough cookie, that's for sure. But in the end she's only a teenager, one that's obviously a bit scared of things that you'd except a girl to be afraid of. Like being used against her will. God, I really need to do something about this Stoneage guy...that reminds me that I need to do something about 'Boris' too. I'll get on him later at some point when I can get my thoughts wrapped around it."

He looked over everything that he read, making sure it was all written correctly before he saved it, put it in a hidden little folder and then closed his laptop before he leaned back and decided to take a little nap. Maybe tomorrow would be an actual relaxing day. He tried to move onto his couch, only to wince as he looked down to his leg, feeling the tight bandage wrapping around that stab wound he had gotten the other day. He grumbled and then began to try and drift off to sleep.

Yea. Relaxing day. As if.

"I was soaring ever higher -
But I flew too high."