Anonymous 
The Betas are seeking new pledges for the sorority. A new Beta House will open soon (the abandoned President's home is being brought up to code to be used as the Beta House) and we are anxious to increase the ranks of the sorority. Applications can be obtained at the Beta Booth located in the student quad, on the walkway leading to the classroom building. For reference I have included the contents of the application below. Looking forward to an active year with the Betas.
Cheryl Oh
Beta Pledge Application:
The Beta Sisters are both a social group as well as an activist group. The Betas over the years have worked hard to raise money in support of many social and political activities throughout Crack Den. For instance, we worked tirelessly for the Drug Rehabilitation UnderGround Society (or DRUGS) making sure that the unfortunates of Hathian have equal access to the drugs the more well-to-do have easy access to, the important ones like, Zantac, Prozac, Valium, Viagra; the ones that get us through those difficult times.
Of course, "all work and no play makes Jack a psychotic killer," so we also hold many social events for both our members and the greater CU community at large. Our formal event is always a favorite of our new recruits, and the skinny dip party in the Beta House pool is also a Beta Sister favorite. Try not to let the boys know when it is; we wouldn't want them crashing our party when we're in such vulnerable attire; but if it does slip out by mistake make sure you give them the following landmark; wouldn't want them to get lost.