Since I am kinda down right now because my rp day once again did not give me the result I hoped for I have been thinking alot and thus I decided to open this thread. With this thread I want to apologize for offending a few people, but at the same time give an explanation why I sometimes overreact and what I sometimes miss in CD.

Let's start with what really is on my heart and that is the wish to apologize to everyone I might have offended with the way I present my opinion and the way I like to discuss things. I also want to apologize to the people that have me seen oocly overreact to IC situations, which what I agree with is totally unacceptable.

I know I'm not a perfect roleplayer and most certainly not a perfect person, but I want to be so honest to tell you exactly why I am as I am. Let's start with the thing I myself find the worst about me, the fact that sometimes depending on my IRL mood I can't handle ic rejection properly. In my subconciousness when I'm in a sad mood I tend to understand IC rejection as a rejection of me oocly. And with that I mean when a character ignores me and when someone does simply walk away from a scene with me. Thing is that sometimes my subconcious feeling is true too. Like today I had a scene where I approached a character directly and asked a question, where I was blatantly ignored and the character just walked away from me and the player wouldn't respond to my IM either.

I through all my life had a problem being rejected by other people in RL, I guess that's the reason why I really have to chew hard on these things. However, I know that I got a few psychic problems and I will soon get treated about that so I hope this will make things better in rp with me for everyone.

However that being said I know to differ IC from OOC, except for my emotions in situations like that, it's like if I read a sad story and start crying, however in those moments I might be kinda weird oocly too. After a nap I'm usually more clearheaded again.

I know that is not good in rp and I hope the therapy I start will really help me. Because I don't want to stop roleplaying, I enjoy it, cause a big part of it also really makes me happy.

In general I am kinda paranoid about people hating me even tho they really don't and I know I can be annoying.

So much for this part. I also want to apologize for the discussions I bring up that some of you seem to find offensive and annoying. To that I wanna say that I myself like to discuss things and I don't see it as arguing I like to see both sides of an argument, the opinions of different people. I heard many people who moved to germany say that we germans are usually more blunt and direct than what they were used to, maybe that is why I often run into problems. I will try to discuss less and if I want to discuss simply put the discussion into the Forum.

So I apologize for that as well...

Now however I want to give some feedback, which I think could improve the RP experience for everyone:

Make it easier to join/create gangs/police:
It is really hard as a player to join gangs simply because there are a limited amount of them and limited players are allowed.

With the police it's hard to join under certain circumstances as well, simply because if you had in the past on the same account characters that were repeated offenders, that keeps you with a script from sending and application to the HPD, even tho the criminal character is long dead and you new character is innocent.

This is really sad, because joining one of those opposing forces makes it easier to join storylines, that concern Hathian as a whole. I always enjoyed doing political rp in other sims, where I had an opponent through the storyline, the diplomatic rp was something I really really had fun with. This kind of rp is really hard to get without being in any of those factions.

Of course you can join other groups (mainly job groups), but with all the jobs I joined I never felt as if the players in the group were really acting like a team. I always felt like a loner who stood hours behind a counter and waited for someone to come up for rp to buy a pizza/get a haircut, etc.

Tell people openly what you think of them in IM:
Instead of just blocking them or talking behind their back, I think it would only be polite to do so.

Don't be so picky on posting style:
I feel sometimes that I'm at a disadvantage being german. I think my english is quite good but when I read other peoples post how beautifully written some of them are I always feel bad that I can't post the same way simply because I am not able to write stories as beautiful in english as I would be able to write them in german. I know I repeat many phrases alot, maybe that is something that I can work on. But I wished some people would concentrate more on the core of a post than it's decoration, if you understand what I mean. I don't think people are worse rper just because their posts aren't as well written. I loved to rp with someone whose english was worse and more broken than mine, simply because the content was really to my likings.

More european time events/European moderators:

I know CD is an US SIM, however it couldn't hurt to have more european friendly events and also moderators that make sure the SIM is clean of griefers and also can do whatever moderators duties are at those times of a day.

IC Radio Station:

This I brought up in the chat earlier I learned there is one, but I never heard of it before, and seemingly streaming is not working at the moment either. I really would like my character to be an IC DJ, I done that before at a VTM SIM and I always had fun.

anyway 🙂 I hope you don't take this post to negatively, I'm trying to... be positive and a part of the community.

lg Kati