not new, but now focussed on who i am 🙂

Zaira has been in and out of Hathian for the past 6 months, most recently she has been away for 8 weeks primarily due to forced hospitalisation after an incident she cannot remember.

In her Mid 20’s Zaira spent much of her childhood travelling around England, never spending more than six months in any one place, and as a result finds it difficult to form lasting relationships, childhood memories include witnessing daily violence, involvement in petty crime and never attending school. Zaira has always had some strange behaviours, although never diagnosed she had traces of OCD, and had an imaginary friend till she was 9. At the age of 15, her father died in prison, and her mother, growing tired of her daughters strange behavioiur and finding a new boyfriend kicked her out to make room. Moving around as she has always done, she found work in a Cafe, living in a room above. After a few years she finally made some friends at 18 with some students from the nearby University of London when they invited her to go travelling with them, she eagerly said yes, and spent 6 months saving up all her tips and wages, sometimes forgoing food to keep the money saved. To emulate her new friends, she began reading University level books although she didn’t really understand the content. She left London with 5 friends for Australia, happy that she had people with her to share the experience. What she didn’t realise is that her new ‘friends’ didn’t really believe that she would go with them, that it was originally just a little joke that went to far….. once they witnessed her going through her ‘routines’ a few times and freaking out, they ditched her in Sydney, distraught and alone she withdrew into herself and skint and alone stole a few dollars here and there, while witnessing yet more violence on the streets her mental state deteriorated. Coming to the end of her visa she found some bar work, and pulled herself together to some extent.

An American guy turns up, travelling round alone and they have a connection, he is a mostly nice guy and actually talks to her as a person. When her visa expires 3 weeks later he offers to take her to the US with him. Having no ties and nobody to look out for her she accepts, and they fly together to America……..they have to make a stop first so she walks in Hathian at 19 years old as they pass through to collect the rest of this stuff on their way to LA.

The next few years go reasonably well for her, she has a stable fixed home, someone to look out for her and regular employment, she begins to educate herself at home but lacks the background and critical thinking to think it through properly, she is easily led and begins to believe in various conspiracy theories, and her paranoia grows. Despite their problems they get married, and although she doesn’t love him, she doesn’t want to lose him.

After an incident at work where she flipped out because she believed that a customer was following her she was diagnosed as Bi-polar, obsessive compulsive disorder and paranoid personality disorder. She was prescribed medications to limit the symptoms and went on with her life.

This all changed at Christmas 2007, when their small apartment was invaded by a gang, her husband put up a fight and was stabbed to death and she was beaten badly…… the police found them 12 hours later, her cradling him in her arms, coated in his blood. Recovering in hospital she decides to leave LA, get away from this place, but know nowhere else in the US to go to.

Once discharged she hops on a bus with a small bag of personal belongings whether subconciously or not, disembarks in Haithan, her dead husbands home town.

Finding a room and another crappy job was easy, she spent her first couple of months quietly working away, spending her free time reading on the internet, learning about conspiracy theories, she stopped taking her medication as she now believed that the it was a pharmacetical plot to keep the masses compliant.

For the most part Zaira is quiet, she is observant and watches the interactions between people, and will be startled if addressed directly. She now self medicates to keep her symptoms at bay.