Dear Rupin.

I know maybe my name for you is not satisfying, but I want to treat you like a friend.
You are my mind and what goes in my head.
I like to write my daily depression.

When I first came down to Hathian, I was much like a kid, because I wanted to escape structural career and do whatever I want. Flash my badge and boast about it.

I wanted to show people I am a cop and better than then. But so far the events, I don't think that is realistic.

Still, I am happy not being in China. I like it here. Because the women and men are much better looking and I found a friend that has amazing family.

His name is Colton Vond. His wife is Kirvi Vond and they have a dog that is a guard dog at the HPD. His name is Tyson and he likes me. I am happy to announce I am K9 handler in training.

A Chinese cop named Jeremiah Xuanzang is interfering with my life though... he called my dad and told him how I am not doing it right. How my behavior is bad. I intended to keep my father updated with positive outlooks only, just so he wouldn't worry. Or I thought my dad would worry...
Clearly I'm wrong, because dad cut off my allowance, and I was on my last rental day. So now I have no home and sleep on the beach. But yesterday I was so sad. So sad.

My friend who has died at a shooting , the cause is blamed upon me by the Chinese cop and the Japanese twat named Seth. Having heard those accusations and then my dad on other hand not wanting to believe I am doing well and take away money, I feel alone in the world.

But then I had one last plan, and that is to call Colton to ask for a stay. Luckily, he said yes.
We had a good time, he gave me much alcohol and his wife and maid made delicous vajitas! I loved them and ate and slept well.

Today though, things go downhills again.
Sergeant Sarah Fox has burnt my face and cussed me out.

I don't understand what I am doing wrong... I was in my bad behavior and people told me to be nicer. Then I wanted to be nice, and I hug the ladies. I was told they love to get hugged, but apparently not. Now I am told that I can be nice, but not...nice? I can't be loving, or nice... or..

I don't understand, I don't know what I am doing wrong. All I know is that I am having a bad day, and that Jeremiah yet again make me look bad.

I don't understand where things go wrong. I started to change my behavior to become a better cop. I started to socialize and put myself better together, but now, I don't know what is wrong and right anymore.

I feel like I lost touch with the reality. Perhaps I am going to become very bitter. Maybe, I will no longer be who I am. I feel like my heart is crying, but my soul is very angry. I want to respect officers, but they seem to entitle 'respect me then I respect you' except they don't act like they deserve one ounce of respect.

Suppose only Colton is sweet. I do what I can. I feel sad.. I am going out again, I have one hour longer shift tonight, so, after that I am going to drink until I pass out.

Cheers.