The following is written in a beat-up old journal with a faux brown leather cover, tossed on the nightstand of Leia's row house.

How long has it been now, that I've been in Hathian? Long enough to decide that it's definitely not the best place to be, but it'll work. I've seen cocaine, weed, and other such drugs, but not what I'm avoiding, so everything's good on that end. Not that anyone would know, anyway. Sascha's the only one I've told about my prior arrests and addictions.

Not prior addictions. I'm still fighting the urge every day. Every time something crazy happens, all I want is a Xanax. And then when my arm starts hurting, it's all I can do not to go drug seeking at the hospital. But I keep that smile on my face, because that's what's needed to get me through it all.

I'm happy... I'm fighting the addiction, I'm still clean. It's not impossible to get over, though it is hard. I'm doing well here, without the influence of back home. I miss the Delmar Loop though. All the Thai places... best thing around here is a crappy sushi place that I wouldn't even dare eat the sushi from. Don't care that we're right on the coast, that place looks skeezy.

Speaking of skeezy, guy I almost slept with keeps showing up randomly. My own fault, I led him on, and then left him with blue balls...but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. After everything with Sascha, and that never happening, I thought I just needed to get laid and I'd feel better. But the idea of some random hookup just... freaked me out. Starts to take my clothes off, and I couldn't do it. Got up, and left. Tried to soften the blow with a 'maybe later' thinking he'd find some other girl, but he just..keeps...showing... up. At work, at Geins... I'm supposed to be an adult, but I'm having the hardest time just saying "no, not interested."

I also think Mad might like Danny. That amuses the crap out of me for some reason... I just hope I don't come home one night to find them making out on my couch. That would just be awkward. But funny.

Can't believe Danny decided to be a cop though. I'm not sure why I'm taking that so personally, because we weren't friends for that long or anything... but because of that one cop here in town, I just want to punch all of them. Fucking assholes.

And idiots. Who the hell shoots a guy with pepper bullets while he has a hostage with a knife to his throat?

My new tattoo itches. ...And I should get another chapter in. Enough writing for now.