Wow. How time sure flies by. It's interesting to see how much has changed in my life since I first arrived to this city. I've met some wonderful people that have become a part of my family and it's placed a lot of hope in my heart for the future. Business has been moving quite well. I can't wait till Vincenzo sends me his next batch of goodies. I hear they will put a different kind of smile on peoples faces.

I've been sleeping a little better at night. My nightmares have kind of subsided for the time being. Although I know they'll eventually find their way back into my head.

I've been thinking a lot about sinking my money into a residential hotel property. Open up a few units to rent out and run. Maybe set up a hotel lobby bar and lounge. It could be an interesting cover for business. Maybe even give some of my family jobs.

Land isn't cheap in these slums - but I'll find a way to get what I want.

I always do!

Here I am again today staring at these brick walls and wondering how much longer they will be able to keep me safe from the bullets I'll have to dodge. I've noticed that the locals here don't really take to nicely to "the latina."

Siempre estoy pensando en todo.

I am always thinking about everything.

I wish I could just turn my thoughts off sometimes. Would make it easier to sleep at night.

I had a strange dream last night. I was back home, in Los Angeles, and it was just before mi mama sent me back to Mexico where I would grow up for 26 years under my abuelitas care. It was the night of my 21st birthday, the night I met Don Vicenzo. As I shook his hand, I noticed a dark figure standing off the porch and out of the light. I couldn't quite make out a face, but I could certainly make out a shape. I took my eyes off it for a moment and looked up at Don Vincenzo. He was smiling at me. When I looked back over, the dark figure wasn't there anymore. It almost felt like it was there to witness an agreement or something of some kind.

The strange thing is, 6 years later - that very same man would send me into the US with over 200 kilos of cocaine on a mission.

Is it fate? Or do we sometimes have a strange way of tragically foreshadowing the unexpected in the unconscious worlds of our dreams?

I don't know anymore. I'm tired. Going to lay down.