Well, I've been in Hathian for a little over a month now, and honestly it's been one big roller coaster.

I hate my job. I started my career at Miami PD. I loved it there. I did what I needed to do, and I did it legally. There was no corruption at MPD, and if there was, those people were fired and/or put in jail. Here the police officers are no better than the criminals. I've heard stories of rape, I've seen their brutality for myself. It's all just so disgusting. I would leave, but policing is all I know how to really do. It's what I went to school for. I have my EMT-B certificate, but that's six years old and I haven't picked up a book since. I just…ugh. I think I'm just gonna have to deal with it for now. But if things get worse, I'm gone.

I've never had a boyfriend before. I'd never had my first kiss until I came here to Hathian. I'm still a virgin, and I plan on keeping that way until I'm married. Will it last until marriage, though? That first time Stu and I made out was hardly considered PG-13 and I had a hard time stopping. I didn't want to stop, and that scares me. I've never really experienced lust before, and it's definitely a strong emotion. I don't know if this thing between Stu and I is going to happen, though. I haven't heard from him in about four days. The last time I saw him was at Lou's, and he was attached to his phone. I don't know if he's ignoring me or if something's happened to him. Whatever it is, he better have a good excuse. These past few days have been rough and I've really needed him, but he hasn't been around.

That's all I have time for right now. Ila al-liqa!