Lena starts a new journal from when the time she has gotten to this hell hole. A lot has changed for her and a lot has changed her life. She sits inside of Jimmie's to write her thoughts down.

"I can't believe Im starting this shit again. But really it helps. Im the shrink and I dont take my own advise. I mean nothing really helps what happened. Im not even sure what happened last year. Because of it, I've let Nadine control part of my life. She's so much stronger and more dominant. Sometimes I wonder if Im the alter and she's the real one.

I cannot express to anyone about this woman inside of me; when things get rough she's waiting to come out and get back at everyone who has hurt the one's I love most. There is another....Im not sure of her name. She's bitchy and the most coquettish woman you'll ever meet. I like to think of her as the other half of me. Realistically speaking, I should seek help and become fully intergrated like I suggest for my patients but when things get so hard for me to handle, where will I beable to hide? Who will take care of things for me?"

About 45 min later, she writes more sitting outside of Gein.

"When you're twenty-three and your parents were supposed to find the -perfect- Russian, Jewish boy...you start to wonder if thats the way you're supposed to find love. Like the heavens have it set up that way for you only to find love through your parents arrangements...

Well, heavens...this shit is getting old and Im not getting any younger. By now, I should be having a stable realtionship and have a man that's ready to propose to me. But thats not happening. Im still single. The only relationship Ive had so far was with a married man...and I was like their girlfriend. Which is...well, weird. But none the less, I still have yet to find someone. Is it awful that my standards are high? Is it wrong that I need someone decent?

I keep finding myself in these situations where the guy is obviously blind and cant see how great I am(Kay has said that...) or he's in a relationship. I cannot express how much, Im tired of these flings I have. God, please send me a man that's worth my time and patience. Im a good person...dont I deserve a good man? With a good, job, financially stable, and is good looking? I think I do.

Why must I get all of the leftovers, or junk no one else wants??