[All entries are written first-person as if on a public internet blog like LiveJournal. I blog regularly IC in the main blog section of the website http://thecrackden.com/community/blogs/xiutao]

On this fine Christmas eve I got to thinking. Should I sit in my one-room home with walls covered in 50 years of someone elses cigarette tar? It smells like old man and fireplace most cold days, probably due to the bathroom having no door and the broken machines in the hall that are no doubt housing tiny mice and maybe a rat or two.

The answer is NO. No I should not wallow in my own self pity in a perpetually dark home while everyone is cuddled up with their special someones by a decorated tree!

I'm going home to Quing Pu, Mao Ten, Francais, Jackie, Ing Po, Samuel, and all the other Brothel kids I helped raise up to teenagers. [I'll see some of their kids as well]. I'll see Auntie Mimi, Charmy, Cathy, Yeng Su, and my Mom. We'll sit in a cramped set of over-shop apartments. We'll have a big tree covered in Dragons, Birds, fortunes tied to branches, and sparkly this and thats. It will feel like home.

They don't have a lot of money for gifts, so I may only get some cards or a pair of funny socks, but who cares? I have that box Santa gave me at the DG. That will be enough. I've saved it. He said I'd have something for under my tree, and I will see to it that that's the truth.

Dinner will be a spread across two fold-out tables... Nian Gao, Roast Duck, Lychee nuts, and tons and tons of Tom yam het fang. [my auntie Charmys favorite soup]. It will be a feast of epic proportions for our small army of Asians from all over. Usually Cousin Cathy is left out of it because my Mother is the oldest and has a dislike of most Vietnamese foods. Sometimes she'll allow and expensive dish like Bun thit nuong, but only if she's promised ginger tea with her next cold. Mother is very picky...

After Dinner the kids...all of them... I think the count is up to 9 now, will get together by the tree and open one gift each. Quing Pu and I, being the oldest of the Brothel kids, will hand them out with silly elf hats on. It's a family tradition. By the time that whole mess is over it'll be time for the first slew of grandkids and kids to go to bed. Most of them will be in sleeping bags on the floor of my Mother's room. Quing Pu, Francais and Ing Po had all moved out before starting families, so we had to make extra room for the holidays.

The rest of us will sit up chatting, playing Ma-jong, cleaning the kitchen, and smoking cheap cigarettes on the balcony. This is the only night of the year where none of the ladies see clients. In my Mother's wise words, "You can't very well spend time with your family with a man between your thighs". Then again, she's also the one who coined this gem, "Why would anyone celebrate a virgin birth? If you aren't having sex, it mean you don't want babies!"

Anyway...Merry Christmas! My bus comes in a few minutes and I'll be gone until Saturday morning. God bless and such.

Love and well wishes, Xiu Mai Tao.

Oh, and Thank you Santa...