August 30, 2010

Lose Yourself-Eminem.mp3

Stepped off the train, scared shit less, but this felt right. It felt like I was meant to be here. This is a new start for me. Something that I needed to do. Need to prove to everyone that I can make it on my own. The money I have, well, it's enough for the next couple of weeks until I can find my own place. Need a job first though. Tomorrow I am going to take a look around at possible jobs.

I miss my family though. Been a year since I've seen them. Mom's probably making dinner now, dad watching some dumb show. My sister, she'd be 11 now. Probably starting puberty or something. My brothers are now 5, starting kindergarten. It's hard without them. I just couldn't do it anymore. They were always disappointed in me, I was their biggest failure. Oh God, if they only knew half the things I did after I ran off.

For some reason I like it. I thrive off of the thrill. It started as a mistake at first. I was only trying to defend myself. This guy was trying to rape me. And well, growing up in the south in a small town you learn to deal with drunk assholes. It was like I channeled Charlize Theron in that movie Monster. The one where she's the dyke that kills those guys and steals from them. Well, yeah...that was me. I probably watch too many movies, but that's how it went down. Except I didn't kill him. I beat the shit out of him.

Okay, I am so pooped. I need to sleep, though the couple fucking upstairs probably won't let me.

Goodnight Moon.