I don't usually put my more "real life" geared thoughts out in public, but tonight I just feel the need to.

I've been in Second Life for about three years now and have owned CD for almost the same length of time. I've never really showed many people who the person is behind BeBe in that time. There have been a lot of assumptions made about who I am in my real life and honest, 90% of you have it all wrong.

Most of you assume what you will of me, and that's fine, but honestly, you really have nothing to base what you think you know me from. All you have ever seen is what I have chosen to show and how I have to be sometimes as a sim owner. You've seen notices that were harsh, you've seen the amount of rules that Nadir and I have had to write for CD, you've seen my CHARACTER of BeBe be standoffish, mean, bitchy, etc. If anyone can sit behind a computer screen and base what they think they know about someone (who is also behind a computer screen) and how they are in real life, and insist it's fact, I feel sorry for you.

There have been times when I have had to be mean and didn't really want to. I as a sim owner have to make decisions that sometimes I personally am torn over. I'm not perfect, never claimed to be, and sure, I've made mistakes and fucked up. I'm also not above myself to admit when I have made a mistake. Those who have bothered to take the time to know the person behind the sim owner BeBe and the character BeBe can be the first ones to tell you this. I can't always be everyone's best friend. I can't always be push over BeBe. I can't always be nice to everyone when my hands are tied and I am trying to control a situation that I know is going to effect the Crack Den as a whole.

People in the past have called me bitchy, condescending, a control freak, etc...and honestly I think it's pretty funny. People have lectured me about how they are "customers" in my sims, and so forth. People in my sims are GUESTS. I have left the doors open and invited you to be here. When people come into my sims, break the rules, act like jerks, cause trouble and drama, that is no different than say, if you invite me over to your house, I walk in with muddy shoes, track dirt all over your carpet, raid your refrigerator, eat all your food, come into your living room, slap you in the face, take your remote, change to tv to what I want, then demand you sit there and take it and go cook me some dinner.

I have been through alot in the past few months. I would rather not elaborate, but it has to do with family losses and health issues. As some of you know, I have a heart problem. I don't ask for your pity for these things. I go along and I keep the sims open, and I do what I can to help Nadir and the others to the best of my current ability.

I guess what I am saying or asking rather is that you all stop for two seconds and put yourself in our shoes. Stop and really think about the things Nadir, the rest of the CD staff, and I really have to deal with. When you IM us with something, you aren't the only person doing so. Our IM's cap daily. Our notecards are insane when we log in. We are dealing with griefers, 100% noobs that plow into the sim and don't read the notecards at all, dealing with unnecessary OOC drama, unnecessary personal attacks against ourselves by people who don't have the faintest clue anything about who we really are, all on top of trying to help the people that actually need us. Sure, we snap once in awhile. Something we say may get taken out of text, you really can't put a tone of voice or any emotions to text. Sometimes what we type is taken WAY out of proportion. Don't judge us on things like that. Don't assume that we are bad just because you see the "owner BeBe" or "owner Nadir". Don't judge the staff members when they are in "admin" mode. Don't sit there and assume we are all rotten to the core or we don't care just because we may say something you don't particularly want to hear. Don't assume that we have something personal against you because we make a judgment you don't agree with. This is our house and we don't like muddy feet on the carpet, so please wipe them before you come in. Don't slap us and take away the remote. We can tolerate you eating all of the food.