((Diary hidden under loose board under bed))

Dear Diary,

I've been in Hathian for about three weeks now but it already seems like eternity. This place is a hellhole and I almost regret coming here. Let me tell you what happened so far.

I came to Hathian to look for Theo, my brother. Well he's not really my brother, but I claimed him as such. We met in rehab when we were 16, grew real close, and about 2 years later he dissapeared from the face of the earth. That ass. He hadn't told anyone where he had gone, but I never gave up looking for him. When mom and dad moved to Canada I decided to stay behind and look for him. It took me three years, but I found him, finally. He's changed alot. He's not skinny no more, tattoo'ed all over, piercings and whatnot. Also he dried up pretty nicely, he's hot. I know it's weird saying that about my brother but he ain't really my brother so it's cool. He didn't seem happy to see me, more shocked. Maybe I'm just another burden to him now, he was being all nervous when I told him I wanted to meet his girl. Oh well, his looks may have changed but his personality hasn't. Not that much anyway.. Still the same ticks, but he won't let me walk over him no more. That's a good thing.

So the second day after I got here I got arrested for assault against some off duty cop and a disorderly conduct. In my defence that pig was being a pervert to me. He deserved that glass against the head. I didn't deserve the deck in my face. Had to do 48 hours, but got let out earlier by some guy. I think he was a leuitenant or something. It was just in time too. This police cop, Gummy, he has some issues. Like he's got different personalities you know. He came into my cell and threatened to beat me, and I swear I saw a bulge in his pants when I was curled up in a corner in fear. Just because I asked him if he swings both ways. He makes me shit bricks.

After I got out, I came in contact with this guy again, Fuller. I needed money, and the job at the Master Bates Inn just don't pay enough you know? So I started to deal meth for him. Got me a nice pay too since I got to keep part of the money. There was another one, Big Z. He and I couldn't really stand eachother, Fuller had given me the nickname Trouble and Z agreed on that because for some reason they thought I was. Or am. Even though Z and I rarely got along we had this weird relationship, kinda like the dysfunctional brother and sister thing. When I was in trouble he'd back me up with his baseball bat, and vice versa. I feel sorry for the girl we left in that alley. She wasn't moving no more and her face was smashed in. Took me a while to clean my pink baseball bat. Anyway, a few days ago I got a text from Fuller. Z is dead. I don't know what happened. I know Fuller told me he wanted to get rid of him, but I don't think he did it. Sometimes it's better not to ask questions.

So.. I made a mistake about two weeks back. I was dealing and this guy seemed interested in what I had to sell. Before I knew it, there was this shiny badge under my nose. I thought I peed my pants. Off duty detective, well fuck my life. I had just gotten out of jail and didn't want to go back. He blackmailed me, made me his informant. He wanted me to tell stuff about Fuller and his business, in exchange for money. So I did. I'm no snitch, I told him stuff everyone would know. Streetnames, and that he made his own meth. I hated his guts. Fuller knows about this too, I told him. Best to be honest before it bites me in the butt.

Got my own place near the trailer Fuller cooked his meth. It ain't big but it's cozy. Fuller got rid of his trailer and is now staying at my place for a bit, just untill he got his shit sorted out and gets his own place. I'm shitting bricks about this. Why? Well... That detective and I got real close over the last week or so. Yea.. I think we're crazy about eachother. Which is totally fucked. I'm still loyal to Fuller but now I got myself between a rock and a hard place. His name is Daymian. I'm paranoid when I'm at home with Day, I fear Fuller can walk in at any moment. Or Theo. Oh my God. Theo will absolutely kill me if he finds out about him and me. He doesn't like cops at all. Neither do I, but I do like Day. Ain't that fucked up? We need to keep our relationship a secret because if the wrong people find out, shit hits the fan big time. Maybe Fuller was right and foresaw all this, is why he called me Trouble. He's a smart cookie.

Also, I got stabbed by some mental bitch. She was mimicing a kitten, and she almost cut off three fingers on my left hand and stabbed me in the stomach. I maced her ass. I accidentally maced myself too in the process because the can was close to my face, but it got her off my ass. I'm scared to walk that part now, I just know she's gonna get me for macing her and making her throw up. Cops told me they'd be looking out for them but I know they ain't. Too busy eating donuts and drinking bad coffee. Guess I'll have to take care of that myself when I see her next since they didn't even respond to my call. If it hadn't been for Z I would have bled to death right there. I miss him sometimes. Who's gonna get my ass out of trouble now when I most need it?

On a brighter note, I also work at Lou's now and got myself a dog! His name is Tycho and he's a rotti. He's as sweet as he is big, 'cept not really to strangers. He's a good guarding dog, but inside the house he thinks he's a lapdog. He ain't. When he stands on his hing legs he's almost bigger than me. One big soft teddybear who can use a tictac.