James,
There are a lot of should have, could have, would haves that I wish we could say. I have moved back now that I've graduated, and was hoping you would have visited me. But I understand once I heard from Sidda what happened. I'm now a lawyer under the DA, it's a rough job as I do a lot but it keeps a roof over Ema's and my head. On the subject of Ema, she doesn't make life easy and I wonder how you did it with Sidda as a single parent. I miss you, and wish I could hug you as I miss spending time with you bro. I'm going to start teaching at CU where Sidda is going. She makes me so proud of her, and I know things have been rough for her but she's becoming a great woman in the works.

When you get out, we will have to spend time together. I just wish, you could get out sooner so your daughters could see you. I know Ema misses you, but she's very close with Bruce. Lance told me some disturbing things about him, but I'm embarrassed to even bring it up to him so I just keep that at a distance. How are they treating you in there? I hope well, if not just stick it out bro your very strong and much stronger than I am.

How did you do it? The whole raising a kid by yourself? And how did you know you were in love with Sidda's mother? I'm ready for love and ready for my own child, but I'm so afraid James. I'd ask mom but, we know what happened to her. I don't blame you, I blame our father. I think I fell in love with someone, but it destroyed me when I told them and they didn't feel the same way. Maybe I'm doomed to be alone? Or be another baby's mama' of Val's. I don't know anymore, sometimes I go to the beach and stand there wishing you'd be there with me and Sidda and Ema. We miss you. Write back bro...

love,
your sister
iokko matfield