It was just a book. It blends into the shelf of hers that housed so many. A fake cover, 'Black Beauty'. Perhaps that held some meaning in her own mind, or maybe it just happened to be the book she stripped to cover these writings. Lia had believed in writing down thoughts, had told others to do the same. Just writing down thoughts could give such insight into the way people's thoughts connect, how they experience the world, what their point of view is like. That interest seemed to carry on to Valkyrie, though she was not as connected as her blonde-maned counterpart. Not as kind, not as loving. And yet she was the one to begin keeping a journal. But there was noise, so much noise in her head, that maybe if she vomited it all onto pages, she could bask in silence. Such a thing was a hope for fools, but she would delve her hand into the waters regardless. A simple black pen. A hidden book. A blank page before her. She would stare at it, at it's virgin color, for over an hour before placing the tip of that inked pen to paper and began to soil it in sweet cursive. So different from Lia's choppy writing that resembled Russian letters more than English. She writes.
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It was dark when I opened my eyes.
Not the kind of darkness where there are items around you, where there is a floor or a ceiling, where there are things around you to keep you orientated. Just a blanket of pure darkness, as if I had been born into nothing. I lay there, floating, existing, wings finding no purchase on thermals. Simply existing.
And then, the light. It was small, so small I would have convinced myself it didn't exist had it not been the only thing that I had seen in this realm of black. I focused on it and over time, it grew. Larger, larger, until it was big enough that I saw a figure. I straightened myself to align with her, she was floating as I was, but she was curled up. Wings drooping. But she was wonderful. I was affixed to her. She was a creature of bright white; the blonde on her head swirled as if she was in water, the ivory wings that were on her.. I couldn't look away. I was moved closer, closer, the white had become so close that it was like it became half of the world. Our two areas were separated in a strict line. I put my hands up and they met an invisible force. I couldn't cross to her side. I hit the barrier, again, again, again, as if I was hoping it could shatter like glass. It couldn't. And so, I continued to stare. She was so thin, so tiny, but she let off such a soft aura. She was trembling. A frown I didn't know I could make lay on my brow; she was weak. And then her voice, it ran in my head like sweet warm honey down my spine.
"Who are you?"
I replied. My voice was not like hers.
"I don't know."
She didn't look at me. But she let me in. I still could not cross that barrier, but I was watching everything. There were colors for the first time, it was bright, and they were flashing in my eyes so rapidly. Children. Zero. Pain. Hurt. Joy. A man, what was his name?
I watched, I watched as she screams, as she cries tears no one saw. As her children treat her like she was nothing, like the time she had given them, the life she had given them, that it was all so worthless. The way Zero treats her like she was dispensable, that he slapped a collar on another after promising she was the only one he would ever need. The rage, it grew. And I knew, I was not like her. But she was in control. The lines started to meld, creating a sickly grey. And she so desperately wanted to die. I reach for her and my hand passes, though it was more like the barrier had become elastic, like I was trapped in a balloon.
"You poor thing." I send it to her.
"Will I always remain this way?" A quivering reply.
I smile to her.
"I'll break your chains for you."
And she broke the barrier. I changed the body, I saw the grey covering that once clearly divided area. She still controls, but I do as well. She was beaten, she was frightened, but I fight for her. She was taken, hung, left. I was her company. She wasn't lonely with me. I held her. I kept her safe. She was cold, she was dying, and she wanted to fade away. I loved her. Body of older personality was rotting somewhere else, lost in the dark where I was born. But we were together.
Then came the shots and our world was ripping apart around us. I held her so tight, body bleeding out, darkness closing in, and I look at her. She wore a smile.
But she had died.
The betrayal of Zero, she couldn't take it. She didn't want to take it. For a long time, he had made her want to kill herself. And now he had killed her. And I was here, alone, with these memories that weren't mine, and yet I had them. I screamed at her, and suddenly I was the darkness in that small circle of white. The white I want to keep alive, but I knew that I wasn't able. It died with her, that warm, soft light, and it was dark again. I let her go, and she floated away. I turned, eyes now mine, hands now mine, mind now mine. And I was angry. I was determined.

I awoke in hospital, in a broken body that was barely able to function. But it was mine. One child, the girl, Ellie, I tried to tell her. To tell her what happened. She told me the son, Caspian, had lied for Zero. Had covered Zero's ass for Lia's murder. And Ellie wouldn't listen when I tried to tell her. She screamed in my face, as if it was my fault for living. Lia had wanted to die, she hated living. But she had kept existing because she wanted to be alive for those children. Those lying, self-centered children. Caspian came next, when Ellie had finished blaming me for everything. He told me to lie. I didn't want to. Zero deserved to die. I want him dead. Rotting. Chopped into pieces and fed to his children. Caspian tried to kill me. Tried to smother me because I didn't want to keep quiet, because I wanted Zero to pay and I wanted Caspian to pay for covering him.
Caspian had turned on Lia, screaming at her like she was worthless when she didn't have a choice but to remain friendly with Zero. He was so angry, and hated Zero. And now he was the man's little bitch. Like all of his other little bitches. He's as useless as they are, and as important as a worm. Ellie has found new people to take her in, and is trying to off herself every second day. Wanting space, but blaming me for not being there. Screaming her lungs out at me, but whinging that I don't love her.

I am done with them. I don't have time or patience for family, like how they take family. I don't care about living looking over my back to find knives shoved in there.

A man cut my hair today. He had promised to take Lia to Russia. I still want to go. He's feeding me, he wants my body to get better. I've never been cared for like he has cared for me. But he beats me, he ruins me. He burned off Lia's nipple.

I'm going to take off the mark Zero put on this body. He killed what he owned. He had not owned this body in too long, it has already been given to another.

A man, Jiro, is offering me another semblance of family. A flock to fly with. Protection and loyalty. I don't know if I should, I don't need more knives.

But we'll see.