https://www.flickr.com/photos/mashaeilde/39519915730

((Notes to accompany Lila's smartphone painting, stored on that same phone)).

This probably won't make much sense. I'm in the hospital, not working, but as a patient. I'm still not sure what happened except that I was shot from behind.  There was this mess I walked into at Lou's? Crazy mess.  One woman bleeding out, another one getting assaulted by a guy gone crazy.  I think they're both here too?  But the curtain's up.  Alone with all these people here.

I haven't heard from Alcide in over weeks.

I don't want to write about that.

I've been thinking about the past lately, like a dead thing in my stomach.

I don't want to write about that either.

I hate feeling sorry for myself.  I have "I told you so" looping through my head, like a laughing mouse.  Or maybe that's the Dilaudid.  I don't know.  I just know I need to stop it.