Kat sits in the twister with a small notebook she pulls out of her purse , taking a pen she would sip on her coffee listening to the music about her

Dear Diary,
I am not much for english writing or making sense but no one but myself will read this so who gives a shit. Lately my health has been the shits. I been in and out of hostipals so much lately it is wonder why i don't have my own private room with all the medical bills I have had to pay lately. I don't know exactly when this all started ,probally my childhood. Ever since i could remember i have been dealing with doctors because i was "clumbsy".
Clumbsy that is fucking bullshit. Okay somewhat true now but yah blind in one eye no depth perception here . I had many"accidents" in the first few years of my life, i am suprised social services didn't take me from those parents i had back then but people are dumb and believe others atleast in the town that i lived in. I wasn't verbal so i couldn't tell them what was going on.
Come to find out ....they weren't my parents, neither of them . That there is complicated in itself. I been lied to my whole life who my birth parents really were. My parents were from Japan.Why the hell was i given up? I don't know...Is it really cause i don't look Japanese like my sister thinks it is.Where the fuck is our sister? Is she even alive anymore?What does she go by?
The nightmares are back. They are harsh again. I keep seeing blood on my hands, on the walls. Why is it always blood ,why couldn't it be something else .What the hell is my mind telling me? It is bad enough that well i woke up from a black out the other day with blood on my hands . What did I do? what the fuck did I do.I am scared. Only my sister knows i did somethign wrong , unless i helped someone out then okay maybe i didn;t but....i just read on twitter that sommeone was killed at the welfare office. Gods did i do that....I hope not cause if i did...fuck...I can't think about that. I am not going through the whole Raven's faked death again. I just got over that.

looks up from her diary for a moment wiping a tear from her eyes taking a deep breath and continues to write
i still wonder how the hell i am alive. I should be dead but i am alive.I am a broken doll that i don't even know anymore that can be put back together. Seizures, allergies, mental illness...how am i still alive...why am i still alive, what purpose is there for me.No boyfriend no girlfriend...kids aren't even in my custody anymore . Why the hell do i even stay around in Hathian...oh wait one reason Ren.My triplet sister , she is the only reason i stay.