Written in a worn journal with a picture of Egyptian goddess Bast on the cover – (https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5560263/il_fullxfull.181202263.jpg)

August, 7, 2015

The Old Gods bid me make offerings of blood and flesh. And now I choose to offer to them my memories and thoughts.

My chest grows heavy of late, the wretched organ that beats within it is weakness.

And this day I take a trip to the Mississippi river, where Oshún greeted so many of her lost souls. Where she lives and breathes and bubbles to life on the banks and brooks. I plan to castrate a goat in her honor on the muddy banks and then I will pour out sparkling wine and honey to round out her feast. And this Old God will grant me the vision that I seek. While my Dearest Ones stand at the ready to aide me, Oshún will show me what is truth and what is fiction, what is the right path and what will lead to despairs I never wished to find again.

When I return to this decaying city late tonight, I will go back to my family and they will embrace me and my sins just as they have always done. They will comfort and protect me, and I will use my powers to protect them. I will use these gods that have chosen to answer me, because I have not forgotten that they still exist, that their worship is tantamount to their sustenance.