((This is a private diary written down on a password-locked partition of her notebook. All given information is private and OOC unless somebody ever finds her notebook AND manages to crack the password 😉 ))

Marissa sits at the couch, the TV running and showing a documentation on Discovery Channel in the background. She's alone in the huge apartment. Her youngest son Stephen is with Val, her daughter Violet is with a friend for a few days. Kay and Megan are still in New Orleans, as far as she knows. And her husband...oh well.
The notebook is set on her large baby bump and a cup of iced tea is waiting for her on the couch. On the notebook she has downloaded a diary program which allows entries to be shown on separate Diary-looking pages. She kind of wonders herself why she isn't just using a real diary then. But somehow she's too lazy to write it all by hand. And she doesn't wanna appear too old-fashioned if somebody ever gets to read this.

Dear Diary...
Oh when was the last time that I wrote this? 20 years ago? Yeah, should be something around 20 years. So much has happened in the meantime. I could probably write a whole book if I wrote down everything in detail. But there have been some situations which shaped me a lot since I wrote last to you. I passed Highschool! Yay! Okay, that was 14 years ago, but still, isn't it worth mentioning it? Then I joined the NYPD and became a Detective at the SVU. It was a hard job, but a good one. I liked it. But when my fiancé, also a cop, was killed in action, I somehow couldn't do it any longer. And NY suddenly disgusted me so much. Everything there reminded me of him. I think that was the start of an entirely new life for me.
I ended up in Dead End. A nasty little city, I can tell you. But it had an impact on me. And it was not all bad. I got pregnant there, totally unplanned of course. And of course things didn't go as planned either. But that must have been destiny. I also met my sister, after more than a decade. Must have been destiny either. She was one of the main reasons why I moved to Hathian then. With the baby's father gone and Dead End having an even crappier medical system than Hathian, she convinced me that I should move with her to Hathian. Well, I did. But two weeks later she was gone. By now I know what happened to her. And it was horrible. Too horrible to write it down for you. Now she's in an asylum. For several years already. And I'm not allowed to see her very often. That is the worst thing about it. For me at least.
But fortunately I had other projects to take care of. I had a beautiful home birth, and after her birth Violet needed a lot of my time and care. And I got this job at the motel. The Master Bates Inn. Since then I've tried to convince Mr. Bates several times that the name is bullshit, but he still insists on it. I'll continue arguing, however!
And I got many new and precious friends here. Probably they are the reason why I'm still here, since the city itself wasn't too nice to me. I've stopped counting the robberies or disasters that have occurred since I arrived here. From a flu strain up to a city-wide love-drug catastrophe we had pretty much everything. I was raped, lost a baby in a car accident and Stephen, my second baby, was basically kicked out of my stomach way before it was time for him to enter the world. I admit, after this incident I was very close to going back to New York. But look at me, I'm still here. Don't ask me why.
But there have been good things, too. Within just half a year I got a massive family, and I love it. Zahos entered back in my life. And this time we finally realized what we feel for each other. He accepts me the way I am, and loves Violet and Stephen, although they're not his own kids. But he's so caring with them that an outsider couldn't tell. Then we adopted Kaylynn, who is the good soul of our family. She might be 19 already, but she's just as much my own as Violet or Stephen, when it comes to feelings to her. And then she made me a granny! With only 32! But hey...Sammy, the girl she adopted, is just a nice an addition to our family and I wouldn't wanna miss her anymore. And Kay didn't stop there. She fell in love with Megan, and Megan was pregnant, too. So, you see, in no time we went to kind of an XXL family. At least in theory. Reality is different though. In reality, I'm all alone right now.

Mari stops writing for a moment when the baby starts kicking so hard that the notebook swings on her belly. She watches it for a while before she continues.

Okay, not entirely alone, as it seems. That goober inside me just reminded me that it's still there, too. And it obviously doesn't like the notebook on its personal space. I have to say 'it' because we don't know the gender, yet, and don't want to know before the baby is born. It's nice not to know it for once. And of course my loving and caring friends are there for me whenever I need them. But the house is so empty right now. Violet is with a friend, Stephen with his Dad and Kay and Megan are in New Orleans where Megan had a troublesome delivery. At least Sammy is there in the nights, but over the day she is also out in a summer youth program. And Zahos...
He was called back to the Army for what should be a final and easy two day mission. The result of it is that he is missing in action for more than a week by now! I hate them! I hate them all for pulling my husband from me and putting him in a situation he might not return from anymore! I've already lost one beloved man in such a shit and I'm not gonna survive this a second time!

She once again stops writing to calm herself down and sip on her tea before she goes on.

I refuse to think that he will not come back. He will, I feel it! But I need to keep myself busy and keep me from thinking too much about where he is right now, what he's doing, if he's injured...and all this crap. He will tell me when he returns. Yes, WHEN, not IF! And until then I have a motel to manage and investigations to do for Moonshadow Investigations! And then, when my beloved husband finally returns, we'll have a huge BBQ with all our friends, just for him!

Mari saves the entry and watches how the program puts her text on the diary background. She continues to stare at it for several minutes, then shuts down the computer, finishes her tea and gets up from the couch. Time to get her mind off of Zahos and some work done instead!