About 3O minutes from Hathian in Des Allemands Louisiana. 

07.26.2020

"As the days go by Renzo has been gone longer and longer with fewer visits in between. He's quiet about why, though seems happy to see Rosa. I am not certain if he is being genuine with the happiness he shows me. I want to believe in him, but what else am I to think when he's gone so much for days at a time? I'm at least grateful for living down the street from his parents, but it's hard to stay positive when it feels as if he's slipping away from me. Worse yet I'm trying to raise Rosalee Sarah mostly alone, and at times she cries for her father.. of course he's not there a majority of the fits. When that happens I want to start bawling my eyes out too. No clue when our wedding will be either. This beautiful ring seems to be just for show?

Despite all of that, I miss Brandie. I miss the Koga. Sure both of our lovers raped each others girl. Yes I quit in anger and in painful betrayal. On some part I was jealous that her new love that hurt me was more important than her sister in arms. Even though I didn't know until after the fact, I felt like we were even after Renzo hurt her in turn. And for some reason I still want to seek her out as of late. At least try to be friends again. Truth is, I am no better than she is. I still care about the Koga too, though who knows what they'd think of me now. I will give Brandie credit, how she does the mom gig plus being a leader is beyond me. I am still trying to keep up with Rosa. Not sure how Renzo would react to my wanting to see Brandie again. At this point I am not sure if the man I love is going to leave me so what do I care what he thinks? I could always move in with his parents, after all they adore Rosa and have been asking about Michael too. I want them both to see each other as siblings.. of course if I get a car again maybe I could actually find my way back to hathian again.

Will have to thank Grandma Castelluci, I do feel better after writing.

~Doria"

((NOT for IC use. Only certain players involved in the actual storyline know. ))