¿wow. escribo un diario? este es raro a mí .. pero el terapeuta dijo que esto puede ayudar a .. y tengo mucho para entender, tan...
Ok. Here goes... I feel like I should write something funny here, especially since the therapist will read it.. like...
"Hello. My name is Deborah. And I am naive and stupid." ha. ha. yeah. except, it's really not funny...
I guess the deal with Deb all started a long time ago.. IF I take the time to think about it. But. I really don't wanna. But. I guess I kinda hafta. So... It's not just me. I mean, I ain't an only child or nuthin... I have two older sisters, Addy and Maddie. Yeah, they're twins. About five and half years older than me.. and did NOTHING but cause me trouble as I grew up. I mean, NOTHING but T-R-O-U-B-L-E! I was twelve the last time I remember seeing them, and it was AWFUL! Addy ran off, Maddi said. Daddy spent the night looking, but came home the next morning without her. Maddie took a pregnancy test the next morning. It was positive. I did NOT know you REALLY think a house can fall down from the shouting and yelling inside, but know what? I was so scared it was gonna! It. was. BAD. I don't know what happened after that, but I didn't see them anymore. I heard from teachers at school I overheard talkin that Addy was a wild child, and that Maddi was gettin married to that good-fer-nuthin... and that if ANYONE called the house for me, or came by, God knows it better NOT have been a boy!! Daddy had all the guys in town TERRIFIED to even LOOK at me!!
Fast forward six years. Maddi comes back. WITH a deadbeat husband who can't keep a job, so they got evicted AGAIN... AND three kids!! They are adorable! I love being an aunt! The only thing is.. since they moved in with Mom and Dad.. Deb is a free built in sitter! Or, so they think! I have secrets of my own, and know things they don't know that I know. As long as I'm left alone, no one has to find out.. but, cross me... and it won't be pretty! So. Tired of the way things were goin, and raising my sister's kids while she was screwing her husband all over my bedroom whil I got sacked to the couch, I applied to Columtreal University. I got accepted! Now, I'm in Hathian...
And I thought HOME was HELL!!

SO, I'm supposed to write about what I think is screwed up about my life... Basically, by seeing this therapist, I'm hoping to find out why I seem to attract guys who only want to dominate and control me. I don't need a daddy. I have one of those, thankyouverymuch. I WANT a guy who wants to be with me and spend time with me.. you know, the whole entire romantic crap. The entire happy ending load of malarky. Yeah. I KNOW it's never gonna happen. I GET THAT, okay? What's the point in this stupid journal? What's the point in giving a shit about anything, or anyone?!

Time for my shift at the Daily Grind.. maybe I'll pick this notebook up again in a bit... but for now, I have real things to worry about, like how I'm gonna pay the rent... and eat.. and be legal about it!! Not many here ARE, let alone ethical or considerate!