A loud crack of thunder would roar through the sky from the distance, breaking apart that sing-song drone of rain splattering against the window panes and the pavement outside. The deep rumbling noise would hit the two-story building and cause a light shudder through its foundation, easily stirring the middle-aged man who slept upstairs. His gray hues would open calmly, gazing at the blurred, dark vision of the ceiling above him and he'd know he was instantly awake, wide awake even. His bare chest would rise and fall with a deep breath, his skin pocked here and there with the tale-tale signs of a bullet wound here, a knife slash there, and other various little scars that indicated a life that was far from leisure and ease. He'd toss the thin layer of sheets over and his hand would brush something warm, smooth, and firm, and his ears heard the distinct feminine groan in protest. He'd send a glance over his shoulder, seeing that feminine outline under the sheets, his hand had obviously brushed up against her bare ass. His gaze would follow the curves of her body hinted by the way the thin sheet fell over her figure and he'd just smile, taking in the sigh of a mess of crimson strands spread out over the pillow....that beautiful redhead was still there and hadn't left after he had passed out...blissful.

He'd make his way downstairs, not seeming to care that he was as naked as a jaybird, his gaze lifting up to the dark, but familiar, walls around him. He'd settle into the computer chair, and his hand would reach for the mouse to jiggle it back and forth a few times. Nothing from the screen....tap a few keys, see a little light on the computer tower blink... screen, nothing. Turn the monitor off and on again, jiggle the mouse...finally the computer came to life and out of hibernation, illuminating him with that soft electronic glow.

He'd move that little arrow over the icons on the desktop..it was fucking littered with icons...until he found the one marked "VIDEO JOURNAL." A click or two, set in the date, and soon he saw his own projected face on the screen as the little video camera came to life.

"Ok.. um, so I guess this is how it starts." He'd say gruffly, his voice still somewhat groggy from sleep and other nocturnal activities.

"The doctor at the VA says I should make a recording anytime I have a dream about being over there..." He'd pause long enough to reach forward into the purse that his nightly companion had left, seeing that little pack of cigarettes inside. Normally he preferred cigars, but nicotine was nicotine. He'd light up the cancer stick and take a slow drag, blowing it out at the computer screen.

"Had one. It was early April, 2003.. the push to Baghdad.. Man we were so fucking stupid." He'd say with a bit of a sarcastic laugh.

He'd glance down at the keyboard in front of him, realizing that even though he'd lit up the cigarette he had no ash tray. He'd just sigh and flick the ashes out right there on the desk..he'd clean it up later.

"I was assigned with the HUMINT Company, assigned over to a Light Armored Reconnaissance unit. Those guys were going balls to the wall down the highway when the vehicle came up alongside us, horn blaring, swerving from side to side. I was standing up in the back of the LAV and could see the driver. Iraqi dude. Son in the passenger seat, wife was laid out in the back..blood all over her. Before I could say anything the gunner swung around and the car blew up in front of my eyes...before I could even hear them talk about engaging the vehicle this guy just waxed it, blew it to fucking hell and back."
Another long draw off the cigarette, another little dusting of ashes into his collected pile on the table, "The driver was looking right up at me, eye contact... one man to another, he looked like he needed help..probably something for his wife. Next second he's dust, gone...splattered across a shitty Iraqi highway with his family."

He'd sigh at that point, his head lowering as he rubbed at his bald head with the palm of his hand. Then suddenly a moment of protest would escape him as he blurted out, "God this is fucking stupid..." just as he reached out and abruptly stopped the recording.