Hathian (2003)

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock

It was a Saturday night; like any ordinary night. I had a few bottles of beer, smoked a few joints, and probably took in a few pills. I couldn't remember well. As I unearthed myself from the endless smoky sheets that bounded me to my bed, I had my eyes focus on the wide window that was partially draped. Bare, like a sheep without its wool, I made my way towards the window. I looked out and watched as the people below walked around. I watched as the cars drove by, carrying those that killed young by passers without a deep thought. I listened as the sirens rang through the night, obnoxiously piercing through my ears.

Dung...Dung..Dung..Dung..

The clock struck 12:00 am. Another day had passed and still the city lives. Sick of the vile and polluted sight, I quickly pulled the curtain back and slowly made my way under my covers. I buried myself under its warmth; Allowing myself to be caressed by the soft, stained and silky sheets. And as I lay there with deep thoughts, I slowly closed my eyes and allowed the rhythm of the ticking clock to take over my numb body. And like clockwork, my nightmare came back.

Shanghai, China (1993)

"Li Li mai mai. Can you please shut the blinds after you're done clearing the tables?" Ma asked as she counted the money inside the cash register.

I nodded and smiled as I hopped from table to table, wiping them clean. Afterward, I quickly made my way towards the windows and shut each and every blind that covered each and every window. "Ma Ma, Tai hwan li shu fei. I'm done!" I said excitedly.

Ma smiled and stepped from behind the counter. "Ti Fen Yi She ni. Good job Li." She said smiling as she took the key and the padlock, ready to close for that night.

It was a typical day in the tea house. And once the day was done, we would finally retire to our home and wait till we open during the day. But that night, the strong, piercing smell of THAT familiar tobacco began to emerge. My heart quickly skipped a beat as my eyes stared into focus--towards the familiar man. "Ah...Tran Lei. Ni hao ma? Shi fen fen yi. How are you Lei?" He asked.

Ma quickly moved in front of me and ordered me to step back. I obliged, quite frightened of the man. He towered over Ma and me and his stench--that familiar stench--completely suffocated me. "Zhi Shu, Feng ti hwi? What do you want?" Ma asked in return.

His dark eyes quickly glanced at me before returning them to glance back at Ma. His lips quickly curved into a toothy smile, revealing his yellow and crooked teeth. "Ti yen Hwi Shi hwa. You know what I want." He replied with a smirk. And seconds later, his big, muscular arms forcefully wrapped around Ma's waist. She struggled to push him away, but he was too strong for her.

"Yi Fen Zhi, Li! Run, Li!" Ma called out as the man pinned her down on a table.

Wide eyed, I quickly stepped back. My eyes never left her and the man. As tears began to form under my eyes, I cried, "Neh Neh! Stop!" The man did not listen as he beastly ripped Ma's clothes. He took his cigarette and found it rather amusing to burn Ma's skin with it. She screamed painfully as he laughed loudly. "Neh Neh! Stop!" I continued to cry, but it was no use.

"Geh Yi Shi! I want you, you bitch!" He hissed as he quickly unbuckled his belt. With another yelp from Ma, the table began to shake fervently as he pushed against my mother--completely thrusting himself against her.

My eyes watched them as Ma cried in pain and as the man laughed. Without another thought, I slowly made my way behind the counter. There I knew what Ma had hidden. She bought it from the store keeper near Han and often times, I found her cleaning it. As I stared at the thing that could save Ma, I, without hesitation, took it into my tiny hands.

"Neh..Neh..Stop!" Ma cried painfully as the man mulled her with disgusting kisses. "Neh..Neh..Stop"

"Fu T--" He stopped.

Everything stopped.

"Fu Ni L--" Ma stopped crying.

Everything was silent.

As the gun from my hands loudly hit the floor, tears began streaming down my face. My clear blue eyes stared at the sight in front of me. The art that I had painted had been stained with marks--with strokes-- that I did not intend for it to have.

Hathian (2003)

My eyes quickly fluttered opened as I felt beads of sweat accumulate on my forehead. I felt my breathing deepen as I panted, grasping for air. I quickly sat up and and gripped tightly onto my pillow, embracing it with all my might. My eyes slowly glanced at the time. The clock read 2:00 am.

I remembered that night well.

The gun carried two bullets...

Both were used...

Enough said...