I was supposed to write this thing months ago. But I just couldn't be assed to do it. My shrink said it was good therapy, getting my thoughts onto pen and paper. I dunno. I suppose she's right though. She's the one getting paid to tell me how to live my life, after all. So here I am, doing what I'm supposed to be doing for once in my life, Father would be proud. No he wouldn't, who am I kidding. The man will never be happy with me.

I've been through Hell and back, getting beat near to death, twice, both because of a girl, almost dying from that strange pox sickness that was going around not too long ago, and last but not least losing custody of my daughter. But I'm still here, surprisingly so. The scars on my wrists and the name carved on my arm remind me not to make stupid choices, and yet I still make them. One event triggers another. Sometimes, the outcome is good, sometimes it's not. Cause and effect. But who knows, maybe things are going to start to look up for me.

I tried the dating thing again, I fell for my best friend, no not Daniel, my female best friend. Caileigh. I don't even know why she hangs out with me, but she does and she doesn't judge. But back to the main topic. I fell for her. She didn't seem too hot on the idea of us dating and I got upset. I lost my cool and I blew up at her. She didn't speak to me for nearly a month after that.

Then Grayson asked me if I'd go on a blind date. To be honest, I wasn't too keen on the idea. But after a bit I figured this could help me get over Caileigh. I thought it was working. We got along so well, even though we were cut from different cloth, liked different things. Then Caileigh got into a car accident. A rush of emotions came back to me as I saw her laying on that hospital bed, so frail and weak. I never got over her.

Alex and I ended up splitting. I saw a side of her I didn't like after my visit to Caileigh in the hospital. And then it only got worse when I found out how selfish she is. We didn't talk for a few weeks.

Alex and I were getting back to speaking terms when Caileigh confessed her feelings for me. I was shocked. But I was happy. Alex not so much and she stopped talking to me when I told her. Caileigh and I just started dating last night. Things are looking up. Let's hope this relationship doesn't end in failure like my last one did.