I realize I have been talking about myself for some time. But I haven't fully introduced myself.

Around the city I say my name is Tara. Because that's what the name on the ID says it is. I have blonde hair and I have blue eyes, I am also five foot eleven, 160 pounds.

Okay, I may not be 160, but a girl will never tell her weight.

I was born in 1990, so I guess that makes me 19 years old.

I had scoliosis when I was 13 years old, and at the time there was a 'new' way of fixing it.
To which the reason I cannot bend my back, this must always be kept straight, simply because there is a metal rod encased around my spine. Every day is painful. Every step hurts to take. I cannot lie in normal beds, and I cannot wear normal shoes. This is the way of life.

I am the oldest girl out of three, and the second oldest child.

My brother is just several years older than I am. Mother loves him most.
My two younger sisters are from my step father.
He loves them most.

My daddy died when I was an infant. A drunk driver collided with him on the road. I was in the car seat next to him. He loved me most.
I was his baby girl. His pride and joy.

When I was 18, I collected the insurance money that was saved for me for my 18th birthday. That was the last day I saw my family, since I was 14, that was the day I decided to take a very long road trip.

The stretch between 13 through 18 has been eye-opening.

My step-father left Mother because the bills to fix my shifting spine were too much for them. And they would often smuggle me into Canada to buy the prescriptions needed to alleviate the pain.

At 14, when my scars were healed, when I could walk again, when I could do things on my own again, was the time I left my house. Things had gotten so bad that Mother was bringing home a new man almost every night. My brother took care of my two sisters, and I was usually left to fend for myself.

I was an awkward, ugly child. Thick coke bottle glasses. I was mangy and my teeth were crooked. And to top all of that off, I wore a metal back brace.

Kids could be so cruel.
Kids know that magnets stick to metal.
Kids know that my back brace is metal.

The day I decided that I had had enough was when I pushed Katie Harvey down a flight of stairs.
She was the school bully. She was fat, had red hair and her teeth were always yellow.

She always stole lunch money, and beat up other kids. That day I didn't feel like being picked on. So I waited by the big flight of stairs. There were 15 stairs. I remember because I counted how many times she hit them. Each and every one of them.

I was expelled from school. All because someone stuck up to Katie Harvey. Because I refused to be beaten up by her. No one listened.
Mother refused to put me back into another school, and said that I was a mistake and wished I was never born. I was the part of my daddy she could not have. She could never have his love like I had his love.

And that began my life on the streets. That’s when I met my real family, and we cared for each other.
The next several years were hard, and trying to say the least. I could get the pills I needed, but I had to do things for them. Things I’d rather not share.

But through it all we stayed connected and tight knit. We all had what we all needed.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I find myself in Hathian because I killed a girl that was my friend. I thought I could start over fresh with her, but I couldn’t. I am here because time will not mend all wounds. I am here because this place allows me to be who I am.

Others cannot judge me for who I am or who I was before stepping off the bus, cause chances are they’ve rising to the top, and on their way down they'll pass by every single person who they stepped on to get to the top.

I love this city. I fit right in.