Heavy lids began to pry open reluctantly, just as nostrils flared to catch the sterile scents of the hospital. Eyes littered with burst blood vessels would begin flitting around before they could even see clearly through the haze of sleep. There was no light filtering in through the windows, only darkness providing a contrast against the fluorescent lights of the hospital ward. Eyes would squeeze shut again for the briefest moment. She despised fluorescent lighting. Despite this, sleep would not return to her, and with a rasping sigh escaping injured throat, she'd give in to consciousness. Her very first point of focus would be caught with a bleary gaze; her loved one resting. Hopefully, peacefully. There was an underlying fear in the little demon, that she would wake only to find the tentative safety of these sterile walls to be gone, that her fellow Pride would no longer be there, and their surroundings were only to be replaced with the bars of her cage again. Tired gaze would sweep slowly over each limb, visually taking in the depth of damage done. Bruises covered her, wounds though now clean and tended to kept right arm without much use. Feet were heavily bandaged, the thought of coming pain of walking making dark brows furrow together. Fingertips of left hand would lift, lightly grazing over the dark ligature marks ringing her neck. With only a few moments passing of watching in silence, broken form would slowly shift into an upright position, attention turning to the items Mother had left resting on her bed. A tiny smile turned the corners of her lips upward, and though right arm still hung nearly limp at her side from damage, left would reach to sift through the gifts brought. Before anything else were to be touched, scarred digits would scoop up an article of clothing left behind. She was like a child with a cherished toy, the woman hugging the fabric to her chest, the scent of her Mother providing an instant comfort. In silence she'd sit this way for minutes on end, addled mind circling over the conversations of the day. Of past days. Finally, though the clothing would not be put aside, pen and paper were reached for. Stared at. How long had it been since she'd written?

Too long.

With left hand, the woman would force herself to begin writing, regardless, in order to give damaged right arm some reprieve.

++++++++++++++++++

I thought of you in those cages, when the gun was aimed for my head. When the noose around my neck tightened. When the bullet sank into flesh. When my vision went dark and I couldn't breathe. When the dream took me over and that call of a voice I have not heard in... a long time.. woke me. I could not decide if his voice was a blessing for pulling me from that dream. Was it even him that pulled me from it? Or was it her screams? I could not focus right away, on him. His voice. The first thing I needed, was to know you were safe.  To know it wasn't real. That I wasn't losing you again. That I hadn't failed you again. I felt more like an animal caged in that moment, than I ever have before. There is no greater fear I have felt in my life, than to fear the loss of you.  No mother should ever feel how agonizing it is to lose her children. It's a pain that does not lessen. It eats you alive.

That dream won't leave me. I close my eyes.. and I see it all over again. Replaying. The fire. The chaos. The pulse of the truck. Her screams.. they remind me of my own. The scent of death lingers when I wake. It's permeated me... I cannot get rid of it any more than I can get rid of these scars. Those.. I don't regret them. Every time I look in the mirror, these scars remind me of how far I have come. For you. For myself. For family. There is so much farther to go. I am nowhere near done. Neither are you.

You are never, ever far from my mind. Please know that, whether I am in the Garden, hunting, caged.. or beside you, I will always return to you, always. Just as I will always return to Mother. That does not mean.. that I am eager to lose my shell. I am not eager to leave you in that regard, though I know even without me you would grow. You would thrive. Should the day come, I know you will continue to be the amazing little creatures you are. You will grow as your mother has. Family will be there to guide you even if I cannot. I will make sure I do everything in my power to be there.

You are so incredibly strong, my little loves. Untainted and pure. I am so proud of you both.

Our world has changed. Don't fret, mama will be home to you sooner than you realize.

++++++++++++++++++

The pen is lightly set down on the bed beside her, and a long glance would be given to the paper in her hand, before another soft smile would cause scarred cheeks to lift. Carefully, it would be folded and tucked beneath the demon's pillow before form would sink slowly back down to rest, curling around the article of Mother's clothing as still heavy lids slid shut.