Hathian Police Department and Fire Department are dick heads

So i was walking down past the graveyard when i noticed all this water squirting and thought woah so i went and had an investigate and low and behold i saw a crime had been committed which was totally not by me or nothing, i dunno how that metal rod got into my hand or the knife as i am against crime and am a upstanding citizen of the law. Anyway this dick head of a cop came over as i was attempting to stop the water flow because i am a good person, i am appalled the FDH did not come immediately to repair it but anyways this cop was all up in my face and i was telling him i was trying to fix it because as i said i am a good person. When all of a sudden bam i got hit in the face for no reason whatsoever i might add, so i continued on my civil duty regardless and shoved the metal rod in the water which totally by accident sprayed the dick head, i did not stick that rod in there to spray him on purpose. So because the metal rod failed i went to use my knife you see to get it back out, the metal rod that is and the dick head got in the way and somehow my knife stabbed right through his arm which was totally not my fault your honor, i did not stab the dick head on purpose your honor i did not. Then out of nowhere he fucking tased me i mean i did nothing wrong, i was merely trying to save lives and he got in the way of my duty as an upstanding citizen of our beloved city which i totally love and would not like to burn to the ground. Anyway i ended up being unlawfully arrested and that's why they are dick heads.