Let me start by saying if this is inappropriate for this forum please let me know or just take it down. I was bored out of my mind at the airport and just started writing. Hope its okay.

“Now, to understand it the way I understood it, hearing it from the 'mother', that is, from the 'mother' half of Norman's mind,” The monologue blared into Maria’s ears. Her head slightly raised to see the black and white film playing on the half broken television.

Her head slowly lowers but the talking doesn’t give way. “Matricide is probably the most unbearable crime of all - most unbearable to the son who commits it. So he had to erase the crime, at least in his own mind.” She tries to move on the creaky old bed. The sheets somewhat crunchy for reasons she hopes to not find out.

“So he began to think and speak for her, give her half his life, so to speak. At times, he could be both personalities, carry on conversations. At other times, the 'mother' half took over completely.” The film continues to blame for a moment the only sound in the room.

“I wonder if anyone really believes that. I mean dual personalities. How about you Ava do you believe in that.” An older seductive voice enters the room…

”Just shut up..” Maria begs.

“What you are all alone and you know how you hate being alone.” The mature voice feels like it is moving closer to her in the dark dingy motel room.

“Please just not now.. and stop calling me that. Its not me anymore.” Her voice soft and weak tears filling up her eyes now.

“OooOo I am sooOOo sorry. MARIA” the other womans sarcastic voice lets out. “Really fucking creative. They are looking for Ava Maria. SO lets go with Maria.. No one is looking for Maria… you are just a child.. fucking child… And by the way. When you steal money from your husband you take all of it. Not just 30k. How long do you think that will last you..And this crap town what where you thinking!”
“Stop PLEASE.. I am not crazy” Maria begs…

”You know whats great about being crazy.. You are never lonely are you. I mean I am always with you like it or not. Always here..Even when I don’t want to be in a crap place like this. ”

Tears streaming down her face Marias her voice breaking ‘I didn’t ask you to be here.. I never wanted you here.”

“That’s the great thing about being crazy.. its not always what you want but what you need.”

Maria’s head rises and the room is empty again. Just the cheap motel and that movie playing..” Oh, they know I can't even move a finger, and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even gonna swat that fly. I hope they are watching. They'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, 'Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly.'

It all started as a child with her parents. Ava was the only child and what she thought was a well off family. She was never hungry, had all the toys she wanted. She even had her own babysitter that she stayed with more often than with her own parents. She almost felt like a princess.

It would be years later that she found out both her parents where simply functioning alcoholics. Dumping her at an older woman doorstep so they can enjoy their life without the constraints of a child. I mean all of her pictures with her mom and dad where at bar’s on counters. With older gentleman holding her on their lap next to her parents. The mind is weird thing. It does protect you when it needs to.

The few times her parents actually took care of her always seemed to be around those special days like birthdays or Christmas. Or if they just wanted to parade her around and act like parents. Rarely seeing her parents outside of those few times, it was those little words that would just fill her with warm and love.. “That’s a good girl..” So simple but seemed to be something that would be used to torment her for decades to come.

It was when she turned nine that she remembers her mom disappearing. It was like one day she was there and then she wasn’t. No reason no answer just gone.

It was also around this time that her dad started realizing people really talking about Ava’s young beauty. One of his buddy even convinced him that he could make a buck on it. One of the local bar patrons was Daniel an ‘agent’ and claimed he could get her some work. He just needed to take a variety of pictures. The money blinded, if he even cared, her dads thoughts and he was all in.

Was there some regular work, of course but there was more shady work that paid a lot more that she was put through. She has worked hard to lock that time in her life away. Most of it just distant faint images. I guess to deal with those horrors you have to forget it.
Ava does remember waking up a lot in beds, on couches, not feeling good. Sore throats, tummy aches and headaches all seemed to follow. Always getting the same compliment.. “You are such a good girl.” It made her feel good but also felt vile in the same time. That seems to be when her friend, Roxy started to visit her. Roxy was of course just in her head. Ava knew that of course she knew it, but it didn’t make it all the less real or painful at times. Roxy was always there to talk her through it early on. Trying to help her understand. Roxy always seemed so much stronger than Ava was. But she could be cruel too. Ridiculing her, being harsh and demanding on her. Wanting her to wake up and be strong. She was also so deviant in her thoughts.

School was just as bad. Daniel always tried to get her out of school. Throwing her dad some cash so he would call out for her seemed all too easy. He got her to travel with a variety older guys. Rarely was it about modeling it was more about ‘networking’ as Daniel called it. Laying the ground work for a long career in a dog eat dog industry. Funny she always felt she was the dog being eaten, just once she wanted to eat.

As hard as she tries to think she can never remember seeing any of the money. She got clothes yeah, make up, her hair done. I mean she got a lot of things but never saw a dime. Everyone else always seemed to manage that part.

Her teen years faded away like a blink of an eye. Just one job after another. Daniel was more in the picture than her father. Daddy seemed all to happy to just drink his life away and collect whatever Daniel sent him. Ava be damned is how she felt.

That’s when Daniels voice got louder and louder. Always in her ear about her diet, her weight, her hair, her skin… “Be a good girl and do as I say.” He would always command. She takes a deep breathe ever now and then and tries to remember anyone telling them they love her. Or how are you feeling. She cant remember a single time. She is sure.. she hopes there was a time but she cant seem to remember it. All the while Roxy would come in and protect her or pile on. You could never tell with Roxy. She was there to remind her how good she was at times.. Other times seeming to condemn her for stupid actions.

Not till Kevin. He was a well to do nerdy type of guy. It seemed almost too perfect. He was in the family business. High end financing for start up. Kev loved technology and really helped drive the family business to focus on that and it was extremely successful… for a while. All of a sudden Roxy’s appearances seemed to fade. Maybe it was cause she was finally happy.

Early on Ava was able to slow down her ‘modeling jobs’ Kev really wanted her to himself. But even his tastes started to expand and grow. Seeing how many guys started to hit on her and comment on Ava’s looks he started to get some interesting offers. He started to introduce her to key parties, and spa swaps. Ava just wanting to please him and make him happy. But it started to eat at her.
Then it started to all go downhill. A lot of risky investments had really eaten into the family business. Suddenly Kev was struggling and looking for a way out. Then he saw Ava. She suddenly became and asset to him.

It started with having her tease and flirt with some high power men in the industry. Helping Kev get into a bunch of different deals and help finance some business. Then the drugs came in. Suddenly they were mingling with a group that was not normally in their circles.

Ava was being passed around like a tall drink. She went from doing elegant photo shoots with big name photogs to sexual, degrading and demeaning shoots and even videos.. That’s when the memories flood back.. That’s when Roxy came back.

“Back to this again.” That voice came to her bedroom one night.

“Its just till we get out of this mess.. It wont be long” Ava’s voice cracking

“Yeah dad told us that too. But what 8 years is just a short time right. In the bigger picture of life.” The voices echo’s sarcastically.

“Its just been a few times”… “It will be fine. I am fine”

“Sure you are. I always show up when you are fine. Hey so who was Kev fucking last night when you got home. I mean you have been fucked by a dozen guys in the last month so he probably doesn’t want anything to do with your nasty ass. What was her name. She looked cute” the voice knows what words to use to bit into Ava.

“He said he was sorry.. it wouldn’t happen again.”

“Ofcourse not. I mean we have never heard that before. It will only be this one shoot nude. Only just let him fuck you this one time. Oh don’t be so prude one gangbang you will have fun… On and on and on.. When are you going to wake up. When are you going to take care of you. When are you going to look after you. Never had a job that paid you. Never had a place you owned.. Just still that little fucking child crying..”

“So what I am just suppose to get up. Leave and go where? With who?”

“Yes. Get the fuck out of here. Crush his bank account. Get your clothes and run. He owes you.. he owes you all this. You are making this happen not him. Your ass is getting him back on his feet and he is going to fuck some young bitch in your bed…Fuck him. Show him how it feels”

“But where.. where would I go…”

Suddenly Kev starts to roll over in bed..”Hey.. you awake.. you okay”

“Yeah.. yeah sorry didn’t mean to wake you… I.. I just”

“Hey relax.” He grabs his phone.. “Fuck yes..Baby Marco wants to take you to dinner tomorrow. You know what that means? We can get the deal closed.. FUCK YES” he pumps his fist. “Hey did you get that really skimpy black glittery skirt cleaned. That will lock up the deal for sure.”

Her head nods and she sniffles..”Ye.. yeah. I can wear that.. no panties right?”

He raises up and gives her a kiss. “That’s my good girl. We got this.. Get some sleep you are gonna need your energy tomorrow.”

“Fuck him…” the voice comes into her head again…