Rants of a Knocked up, socially inept Bartender.

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of six-moonkill six-moonkill 11 years, 8 months ago.

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six-moonkill

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At first, all you see in the youtube video is darkness, and a lot of cursing, gratuitous amounts of cursing, finally there is some light, and the viewer would come to realize that the girl's chest had been blocking the camera. Sam slowly lets go of the webcam, smiling a bit with a spoon in her mouth " theeere, thheere NO STAY!" she shouts and groans as the webcam falls off its mount. It swings back and forth, showing flashes of light from the monitor. Soon, you hear Sam come back, and the disctinct sound of tape being pulled off its roll is heard. She sets the webcam back on it's mount and tapes it there, slowly taking her hands off of it as she stares into the webcam, praying that it won't fall again. Once it stays there she plops down into her chair, curling up with a rather large tub of mint chip ice cream. She takes the spoon out of her mouth and shoves it into the tub, taking out a big glob of ice cream and eating it before she speaks.

Alright, so if you're watching this, then you have waaaay too much time on your hands and you need to go back to the funnier side of youtube, or watch some of that cute shit, you know, the panda sneezes, that thing about those people releasing the lion they raised into the wild, but when they came back a year later, it recognized them, you know, typical youtube crap. This here, what I'm doing.. well.. this is just something for me to do at 3am and I can't sleep.

She leans forwards with a frown, shoveling a large chunk of ice cream into her mouth. She looks behind her, then looks towards the webcam, then behind her again. She shrugs and goes back to curling up on the chair, eating her ice cream. She does however gesture behind her, towards the big mess of clothes and scattered personal belongings.

I didn't know the camera would... would show all that, just nevermind! I'm in between places, and the motels aren't exactly big, yanno?..ANYWAYS. I'm Sam, Sam Moonkill, I'm a Bartender at Lou's, I'm 23 years old, and I'm pregnant.

She let that sink in, staring at the webcam as she brings another glob of ice cream to her mouth

It obviously wasn't planned, and when I told the guy he knocked me up, the first words were " Is it mine" it's like. NO it's not yours, I just thought I'd pretend it was yours, for shits and giggles. BUT we worked all that out and everything is cool, I mean, some of it sucks, like bacon seems to disgust me now, and I had loved bacon, oh so much. And I'm tired all the time, constantly tired, tired tired. And then there's the sore boobs, and the morning sickness.

She pauses, and then points her spoon at the webcam, glaring at it a little.

I don't know who the fuck coined it as morning sickness, but that is the most misleading shit ever! 'Morning sickness MORNING SICKNESS MY ASS! It happens morning, noon, night, doesn't matter what time of day sweetheart, and it sucks balls!

She slumps in her chair, placing the tub of ice cream onto the desk. She frowns and then sits up, holding onto her stomach. She quickly stands, looking a bit pale

Here we go.. again. OH And James, sweetheart, if you for some reason see this, I be taking care of our seamonkey

She pats her stomach, the webcam catching her big smile before it flops out of it's mount, causing Sam to yell out a loud " FUCK!" before the video ends.

August 27, 2012 at 9:22 am
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six-moonkill

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August 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm
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August 27, 2012 at 11:07 pm
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August 31, 2012 at 7:59 pm
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September 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm
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March 28, 2013 at 12:24 am
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