What does hathian say to you, what does it do to your character....his/her self esteem, mental state, physical prowess?

Jessi sees Hathian as desperation, heartache, death, the stench enough to turn someones stomach, the most depressing place on the face of the earth and the literal gates of hell.

for Jessi, Hathian has completely transformed who she is, what she thinks of herself, how she precieves people and their intentions. Everyone is out to get her in one way or another.

Her self esteem is shattered, though shes in the best physical shape of her life.
This is only the tip of the iceburg for Jessi, just too much to put into a post and not bore the crap out of you, or myself for that matter.

What has Hathian done to your character and how does it help you shape how you want your character to be? Does it help with character consistency?