(( Emo Rant Teenage Angst. ))

Dear..Whatever you are. I feel weird writing my mind. As if I am writing to someone. As if someone would come and read, and understand my mind. As if my mind belongs within this book. I can not express myself, I can not describe my mind. Whoever I am, I decided to write my mind here. Perhaps when I grow up and read back, maybe then, maybe then...Will I understand my current mind? I want to understand it now...Fuck this.

A week ago, I appeared in this odd town. Soiled, smelly..Odd town. I can not believe how I could go from a normal neighbour to this...odd place. I used to be the criminal of neighbour, the badass, I used to cause grief and put hurt in people as long as I enjoyed. And I FUCKING DID ENJOY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why am I here?!?! Why am I HERE?!?

I miss mama, I miss papa. Why would they...Where are they anyway... I wonder if they knew what they had done.
They probably don't care...Perhaps...Perhaps people who played pranks, or are bad, came to this town as punishment? Is this a life punishment?

I used to have fun, bullying, pestering, fighting with boys. I felt home, boss, I was dominant and demanding.
In this town there seems to be kids even stronger...no, even ADULTS who mess with children.

What the fuck? Just now even two grown adults bullied a child to take out the damn amburella from Santa's ass. I still cannot keep my mind still to what this place is...But you know...

It is okay.

It will be fine...

Someday I wake up, and my mom will yell at me for making a mess in the guarden...or yell because I left the fridge open. I miss home. I miss mama, papa, I miss my annoying babybrother.

I wonder how they are now. I feel like crying. I can not show myself any longer. I can not freakin' go out and be nice. The people here, they ae all insane. No body deserves my friendship here. Unless...Unless they are like me?

I wonder when my angst will pause. I am bloody...I know I faught, I know I bullied...But I never got beaten this bad, neither have I ever beaten kids to uncouncious. This town has made me corrupt. I am corrupt. A monster is born within me. I am a monster....

I am a monster... Fuck you too life. Fuck you too.

At least do me a favor and cut off my breasts, grow me some balls and let me become a real boy. I can not hide forever.

V.C.G