So, I debated a lot with myself over whether to do this--a clean break is often best, but at the same time I'm known for having to get in the last word no matter what. Plus, there's the off chance that one or two of you might have been genuinely concerned about the latest disappearance. To those select few, I also offer my apologies. Really, I think that was the deciding factor that's led to me coming back in here to say my goodbyes.

I know I cried wolf more than once, and because of that, when I finally decided it was really time to leave, I had to just do it. No big "I'm really doing it this time" post or any of that nonsense. I knew it was time, and I knew that if I didn't just bite the bullet I'd be back on within a few days. It sucks to say this--it really does--but the humiliating truth is that I got hooked on this stupid game.

Have you ever cut your real family time short because you were worried that your pretend wife was cheating on you? And that said pretend wife was cheating because you hadn't been online enough lately? Have you ever scheduled your real job around the events of your pretend one? Have you ever been caught tweeting on your alter ego's account about things that never really happened?

It all hit me one night. I've been spending money on clothes that don't exist, that I'll never get to really wear. I've been investing time and energy on relationships that are entirely fictitious. Yes, there are real people behind all this, and believe it or not, that's my point. Some of you guys have been awesome ooc, and I have at one time or another considered several of you friends. But on the other hand, to be honest? There are more than a few of you who were a serious drain on my RL me time.

Ultimately, though, I'm the only one to blame. I'm the one who allowed myself to be needlessly stressed by your drama, and I'm the one who went along with the same bullshit that I complained about to someone else a few hours later. I'm the one who got in too deep, who let it stop being fun. I'm the one who couldn't say no. And so, when reality finally crashed in on me and it came time to unplug, I'm the one who had to make the call and admit that I can't do this. I got so caught up in my fake life that I couldn't take care of my real one anymore. Hats off to those of you who are able to lead two (or more) lives simultaneously. I know now that I can't, so I had to drop it completely.

I do want to thank those who made it fun, and those who understood what I really wanted out of all this. Some of you guys helped me make some great stories--and some helped me make the suffering stories fun again, even just for a little while. I'm sorry I couldn't do more, and I'm sorry that I let a good thing be ruined. I'm not going to call anybody out, even if I think I could get away with it now that my bridges are smoldering.

I will, however, remind you that the game's only fun as long as you treat it as just that--a game. It's not a replacement for the life you either choose not to or are unable to lead. Just because you suck at RL relationships (or don't care to put work into them) doesn't mean that you're automatically entitled to a fangirl's dream when you're in your perfect avatar body. Just because your real body is imperfect or malfunctioning doesn't mean that you get to godmod the hell out of people who want to play fair. Oh, and just because you say that you get all this? Doesn't mean a damned thing if you turn around and try to play the ultimate badass when you get back to your scene. I've said it before, and here you go one last time: Don't say you know the difference. Show it.

I preached that constantly, didn't I? And in the end, what did I do? I blurred the ooc/ic line in my own mind. That, my old friends, is the single greatest offense. Don't make my mistake. Be good to each other, and have fun.

- j.