(( This is the Journal her therapist asked her to  keep after she was raped. The first day's  entry was more just some jotted down phrases.))

9/09/2016
My feelings... what ddo I feel?  Shame I think is the most prominent emotion going through my head right now. I Had never even been so much as kissed  by a boy before, still haven't.  But Now, IM used goods, Dirty, Its like I can still feel his hands on me,  can still feel him as he moves inside me, hurting me, before discarding me on the side of the road like  yesterdays trash. Thats what I am now. Trash,  used and discarded trash.

I cant seem to handle being near  men, even my friend Darren at first, Id  tense up and retreat when he got close,  I made myself reach for his hand today though. But  Strangers? The idea of being touched.. I start to panic and tense up. But only with guys..

Sometimes, as I sit looking out this hospital window, I wish I could jump.