September 11th 2015

It's happening again. The dreams. Or are they nightmares? I think I might be to do with my PTSD but who knows really? I'm going to start writing them down so I can make sense of them all.

This time, it was a wasteland. A big strange wasteland. There was smoke or mist, everywhere, washing over everything like waves, almost like something out of a horror movie. And it was cold. When it touched my skin it was like it was leaving a brief kiss but it froze my skin yet I didn't physically feel cold. There were trees, long since wilted away to worn out branches. The ground beneath my feet was cracked, dry, broken up. I remember walking aimlessly through this until it changed.

In a blink of an eye literally, snow covered the wasteland. Yet it didn't feel any colder. I don't know if I was wearing anything, I probably wasn't. It happens a lot in my strange dreams. I kept wandering, my feet made no sound on the snow. Then I saw an white owl. It stared at me before flapping it's wings and flying away. That's when I saw him.

Caspian. My brother.

I called his name but sound came out but he must have heard me because he slowly smiled softly before turning to walk away. I followed him. Running. Trying to catch up but failing. We reached a door that slowly opened and Caspian held out his hand beckoning me. And then I woke up, shivering and sweating.

That was the dream for now. Now I'll tell you what happened afterwards. Twitter. I checked Twitter first off after awaking from that dream. Seeing Rach's message the tears flowed down my cheeks. I was so happy he was awake! I got up, ate, showered, rang Helen, rang my sister. I was ready to go already and see him! That was until Raye threw up on me. Turned out she had been awake already and was running about. Not sure why she was sick. That girl has a lot of medical issues. Eventually I left, racing over to where he was currently recovering in, I couldn't get to his bedside quick enough. And all I did was hug him. And cry of course. Once I had calmed down I just sat with him, talking, not too much because he was still confused. I didn't care. I was just happy he was alive.

So yeah. Yesterday was a good day. I hope there can be many more happy days especially for Rach. I had never seen her so happy, not for a long long time. She deserves every ounce of happy!

I better head to class. Until next time Colton. I'll bring the coffee.

Rennie