[11:30] Grandpa Carlucci loudly bangs upon the door in front of him with his foot. "'ey youngin's. I kno' yer in t'ere, I saw ye when I looked in the winder" He paused a moment, blinking a few times and puffing on his large cigar. "I'm searchin' fer me pants!"
[11:31] Montague DeCuir blinks and stares up at Daria, as there's a loud bang on the door and someone yelling. He furrows his brows and milks the burn to his hands even more, "Go see who that is, would you baby girl?" He would state putting emphasis on the last words.
[11:33] Daria Ezvalt jumped as she heard the banging on the door, and hopped down off the table. How dare whoever was outside interrupt her lightbulb-changing. With a grunt, Daria nodded at Monty and walked over to the door, quickly yanking it open. She blinked as she stared ahead for a moment, then dropped her gaze to the elderly man. "What the... what do you want?"
[11:36] Grandpa Carlucci blinks for a moment as he stared down the pretty lady in front of him. He was expecting the male to answer the door, but this was heaven in his opinion. He gave a smirk and light wink, forgetting completely that he was looking door to door for his pants, much less the fact that he was missing them completely. He switches his frame to lay his weight upon his right arm upon the arm rest of his lovely red scooter. He was attempting his infamous "old man gangsta lean". He spoke up in his best sexy voice but it was raspy and heavy with an italian accent. It was more likely to scare away the ladies than to attract them. "'ey t'ere suga. Wanna go fer a ride?"
[11:38] Montague DeCuir watched as Daria got down off the table and went to answer, he couldnt help but stare at that ass of hers. He almost had to hold back a groan, just the thought of it, was enough to make him want to take her right there in the doorway. He then heard the words leave the mans mouth and float into the front room. He nearly choked on his spit. He had to restrain a laugh. He knew damn well, Daria could handle herself. He had watched her beat down that big tub tub in the alley that one day. He also knew she had kicked a midget, she was an unforgiving bitch. He however wouldnt change it for the world. He just crossed his arms across his chest and listened.
[11:39] Grandpa Carlucci: ((be nice to grandpa D: he dun know better T_T))
[11:41] Daria Ezvalt watched with raised eyebrows as he leaned to the side, instinctively leaning back and pulling a slight face of disgust. As she heard him speak, Daria blinked, staring at him in disbelief for a moment. She wasn't sure whether she should laugh or punch the geezer in the mouth. Daria sent a brief glance over at Monty, the disbelief still etched clearly across her features as she turned back to the old fart in front of her. "Only ride I wanna go on is the ride my fist takes to your mouth," she replied blandly, still unsure of whether or not she should bust up laughing or not. A sigh was issued as she shifted her weight, staring down her nose at him. "Did you come here for a reason, or are you just gonna be a pig?"
[11:48] Grandpa Carlucci blinked a few times as his faze was now fixated upon her chest. He didn't hear a damn word she had just said. After a moment of staring he looked back up at her face. His mouth now reforming the smirk after it had been stuck in a jaw-dropped, drooling state from checking her out. "W-wha', swee'heart? Ya wanna go fer a ride? Jus' hop on in Grandpa's lap 'ere..." As he said this he patted his lap, but paused to look down as he felt bare skin against his palms. His eyes widened. "W'ere's me pants!?"
[11:48] Grandpa Carlucci: ((o.o Gaze* xD))
[11:50] Montague DeCuir busted out laughing upon catching Daria's glance. He began to laugh unrestrained. He couldn't exactly see who it was, but he was picturing a midget. He couldnt help but laugh at the idea. He then smirked at her words and would lift himself up off the couch slowly. He smoothed out his clothes, he'd worn them for like three days now and figured it was time for Daria to do the laundry. He would move to see an old man in a wheel chair thingy mabob. He didn't really know what else to say other then, "Oh." He then heard the old man ask for his pants, "I bet the little green men stole them.. they've been running around a lot lately."
[11:54] Daria Ezvalt instinctively folded her arms across her chest as she noted his eyes so obviously locked on him. She was trying to hide her breasts from view, or at least obstruct the view to make them a touch more difficult to scope out. With a sigh, she just shook her head at the old man's words, having been rendered speechless. "No..." she murmured, doing her very best to ignore Monty's laughter, which was distracting her. She glared briefly at him as he walked up beside her, biting down on her lip as she heard his question. "Um... why don't you go figure that out, and... go away." She nodded at her own words, lifting her left brow as she heard Monty's words. "You think this is funny!?"
[11:59] Grandpa Carlucci wheels himself a bit closer to the two now as she tells him to get lost. He's been hearing that alot lately from the ladies. Has he lost his touch? D: He gave her a quick nod and spoke up, almost in a saddened tone. "I can' go away." He said with a frown. "T'e people in white ar' lookin' fer me."Grandpa had escaped from the Shady Pines nursing home, he hated what they fed him and he called the ugly nurses 'the people in white'. "T'e make me tak' naps durin' my favorit' shows and makin' me eat cold cabbage!"
[12:00] Grandpa Carlucci: ((and it's true what sarrah says. Grandpa leaves his pants in the dressing rooms at Wal-Mart xD))
[12:01] Montague DeCuir nodded slowly as he watched Daria try to conceal herself. It was clear what she was trying to do. He was almost in tears, "You have a boyfriend, I'm supposed to know about there?" He teased as he leaned against the wall next to the door. He couldn't believe, this old geezer. He would tilt his head slightly and ask with a smirk on his lips, "Did you ever have to walk uphill both ways to school everyday?" He would nod slowly, his eyes dancing on the man for a moment, "Why don't we adopt him.. then I won't be the only one moving around patting your behind?" He teased, clearly he wasnt serious. He'd get pretty angry if someone else was patting her ass, but it was too humorous to pass up.
[12:04] Daria Ezvalt stared down at the old man as he went on about... whatever it was he was going on about. She gave a hesitant nod of her head, now trying to restrain a laugh of her own as he made mention of... cold cabbage. That was when it hit her that he must have escaped the nursing home. "Well... if you stay in one place too long, you increase their chances of findin' you..." she said with a single nod, her brow furrowing as Monty spoke. She glared, shaking her head vigorously. The last thing this dude needed was more encouragement. "Sssshhh!" she hissed simply, and idly wondering to herself if it was something that needed to be called in to the police. Hoping the old man was hearing impaired, Daria lowered her voice to Monty, asking him seriously, "Do you think we should call it in?"
[12:08] Grandpa Carlucci gave a quick nod. He agreed that he shouldn't sit in one place. Them magical ninja's in white seem to come out of no where and drag him back to his dinky room. "Yea! Tha's why ya' should le' me in!" He didn't notice his granddaughter pull up behind him, he babbled on in responce to Monty. "Ya can adopt me, but careful. I poo alo'." He said with a smirk. He'd love to hang around here all day and give the lady a smack on the ass everytime she walked by he spoke up again. "I t'ink tha's a grea' idear, youngin'!"
[12:08] Sarrah Carlucci drive by on her patrol. Sarrah would notice a man sitting in a doorway to a house. Figuring thathe was a burglar, she would attempt to scare him by blasting her horn while he was distracted. Sarrah cuts the engine and allows her SUV to coast silently to a stop in front of the house. Just as she stops behind the man she lets him have it laying on the horn and fliping on her lights.
[12:09] Grandpa Carlucci: ((Sarrah you are going to be responsible for your grandpa's death! He's gunna have a heartattack next post and I hope you feel bad!))
[12:10] Sarrah Carlucci: (( at least he wont be peeking in people's windows anymore ))
[12:10] Sarrah Carlucci: (( and it save on the cost of a nursing home too lol ))
[12:10] Grandpa Carlucci: ((lol meanie head))
[12:10] Sarrah Carlucci: (( home....not hoe lol ))
[12:11] Grandpa Carlucci: ((grandpa wants a nursing hoe...))
[12:11] Sarrah Carlucci: (( I'm not buying you any hoe's ))
[12:11] Grandpa Carlucci: ((*snaps his fingers all dissapointed like* damn!))
[12:11] Montague DeCuir grinned at Daria's reaction, he just couldn't help it. This was way to funny. He would rub the back of his head slowly. He then looked over at Daria as she lowered her voice, "The Po-lice?!" He would state aloud. He then nearly jumped out of his skin as the horn blared and the lights flicked on. He definately didn't expect that. His eyes grew wide and he nearly made a dash for his gun. He was out of commission for his hands and doubted he could shoot anyone. Though when he saw the lights, he was slightly relieved. He figured the cavalry had arrived.
[12:13] Daria Ezvalt lifted her gaze as she heard the distinctive sound of a vehicle pulling up. She gave a sigh of relief upon seeing that it was clearly a police vehicle, and felt a slight smirk at her lips. "See?" she stated simply to the old man, hoping that the officer who'd pulled up was here to collect him. She flinched as she heard the blast of the horn, barely hearing what the elder had to say as her attention was placed elsewhere, the lights providing extra distraction for the time being. "Guess we don't have to call it in after all," she stated blandly, reaching with her left in an attempt to give Monty a swat for being a general pain.
[12:17] Grandpa Carlucci gasped for air at the shock of the horns going off behind me. "Wha' t'e hell!?" He demanded as he grabbed his chest. A loud gaseous sound was heard coming from grandpa's seat, not only did he rip a good one but the horns had literally scared the shit out of him. He turned his head to glance at his granddaughter, and once he realized it was her he half cocked a grin and wiggled down in it to make a mess that hopefully she would have to clean up. After a moment of scooting his tush around in his diaper he stopped and grabbed his chest with one arm, he winced with pain as he yelled out. "Oh me heart!" He then would topple from his scooter and land on the cemented ground below, lightly twisting and turning in pain.
[12:19] Montague DeCuir: ((Thinks we may need to save Daria after that post too. She may be dying of a heart attack. xD ))
[12:19] Grandpa Carlucci: ((LOL!!))
[12:19] Daria Ezvalt: (or a laugh attack.)
[12:19] Sarrah Carlucci steps out the SUV and makes her way toward the man. as she got closer, Sarrah would notice the man was in a scooter of some sort. Hearing the man yelp from being frightened, it was clear now who her suspect was. Sarrah sighs and says " Gramps.......is that you? Aww man. What in hell are you doing trying to look in that persons peekhole on the door? " Sarrah would walk a bit closer. Rubbing her forhead as she knew the headace she was in for. " What have I told you? You can't go around watching people through their windows because i had them get rid of the porn channels in your room at Shady Pines! " Sarrah would watch him topple over in his scooter. She would then hurry over and tries to pick the old man pack up.
[12:21] Second Life: Your object 'Comfort Ride 2000 - Red (Wear me)' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by The Crack Den from parcel 'Downtown - Urban / Grunge Shopping District' at District 8 220, 55 due to parcel auto return.
[12:22] Montague DeCuir watched Daria, for a moment grinningly widely as she swatted him. He would act as if he was hurt, "Oh my hands!" He would cry out. He then looked over at the man and smelled something awful draft up to his nostrils, "Did you just shart old man?!" He would watch as the old geezer wiggled around. He could barely stand the smell, "Cold cabbage.... definately doesnt sit well with that one." He stated before watching the man fall off his scooter, and both brows lifting, "Really.. you're going to die on my front step?!" He would ask, rubbing the back of his head. They better not sue, that could be messy. He didn't have the money for a lawyer, well he did, but he didnt want to deal with a lawyer. They'd milk him for all his money and give him shit. He would look as Sarrah rushed forward, "Call someone.. before he dies here!" He would exclaim more worried about the financial blowback more then the old mans status.
[12:23] Grandpa Carlucci: ((LMAO I'm dying here))
[12:23] Sarrah Carlucci: (( I'm gonna puke from laughing ))
[12:24] Daria Ezvalt looked positively abhorred as she heard the obvious expulsion of feces coming from the old man, and that had removed her attention entirely from Monty being a cry-baby. She took a quick step back, her face one of pure disgust, particularly as she watched him wiggle around in his seat. Making a loud noise conveying how grossed out she was, Daria threw her hands up, as if in surrender and just shook her head, sending a glance over to Monty to gauge his reaction. Her attention was refocused on the old man, however, as she heard the commotion that came with him toppling on out of his chair; a series of disbelieving laughs erupted from her lips as she watched the officer rush towards him to pick him up, and she could only stare. At least it made for a good story to tell.
[12:27] Sarrah Carlucci: (( ponders calling an EMT to clean him up ))
[12:29] Grandpa Carlucci slowly opened one eye to peek up at Sarrah, a smirk slowly followed. He hoped he had scared them all good! Especially his naughty granddaughter for making them take out the porn channels as well as almost scaring the life out of him. He was just about to stand up, laugh at her and then climb back in his chair when he felt the feeling return in his sphincter. His smirk only widened as he let loose a small barrage of gas that would sound like a machine gun going off, but sloppy and wet cause of his dirty diaper. He chuckled lightly and stood up slowly, mostly due to his hip replacement. Slowly he climbed back into his scooter and eye balled all three of them. He had the most serious of expressions upon his face now as he turned his attention to his granddaughter. "Clean me up, woman. An' get me pan's!"
[12:30] Sarrah Carlucci: (( did you realy just use the word sphincter ))
[12:30] Grandpa Carlucci: ((I did))
[12:32] Shadoe Ninetails walks out of her home seeing flashing lights of a police car , she stand watching making sure her skils medical aren't needed
[12:35] Sarrah Carlucci stands and turns a putrid green color as the gas escaping from the old mas ass had traveled directly up her nostrils as she inhaled. " Damit it....aww man that's fucking sick. " Sarrah would say as she gasped and gagged at the same time. " Get you ass in that chair. " Sarrah would notice the arrive EMT's and say " Oh god, they are gonna kill me for this. Gramps stay here while I calm this all down. "
[12:35] Sarrah Carlucci: arrival*
[12:36] Montague DeCuir watched as the old man sat back up in his chair. He just shook his head and looked at Daria, "Babe.. we need to get some air freshners." He would state while wafting his hand infront of his face, that was like baby poop mixed with old man breath, or cold cabbage. He didn't even know, he just knew that skunks would find it repulsive. Maybe the old man is what HPD needed as a non-lethal weapon, you get the old man to fart and the crooks will clear out the building quickly for sure. He would have to take Sarrah to the Captain and talk them both into it. He grinned slightly, definately a non-lethal.. or lethal depending on the dosage. He nearly gagged still. He lifted a finger to place under his nose. He however was going to go to Shady Pines later today and demand a petition as they are making thier residents into biological weapons or something.
[12:37] Daria Ezvalt nearly gagged as she heard the next messy sounding explosion, the smell hitting her and immediately turning her stomach. "I'm gonna puke," she muttered mostly to herself, watching morbidly as the old man finally climbed back into her chair. Daria offered Sarrah a quick inclination of her chin as she heard the old man's words, "Think he needs a new... fuckin' diaper too," she said, resting a hand on her nauseated stomach. She nodded once at Monty, the colour draining from her face shortly after and without warning, she turned on her heel and dashed quickly for the bathroom, collapsing to her knees and emptying the contents of her stomach violently into the toilet. Thanks, Gramps!
[12:37] Shadoe Ninetails gets a whiff of what is going on and grins. granted she has smelled worse, but not by much , she hears the ambulance enroute "Officer I can cancel the ambulance if you'd like"
[12:38] Montague DeCuir: ((Ambo totally has a short trip. xD ))
[12:38] Grandpa Carlucci: (( Sorry Daria. It was spose to be punishment to Sarrah xD))
[12:39] Daria Ezvalt: (lmfao)
[12:41] Sarrah Carlucci can only look at the ground. Partly because her face was bright red from the embarrasment and partly from the smell. Sarrah would force herself to look up at the EMT. Seeing the doubled bars on her collar Sarrah would say " Lieutenant, I am so sorry. This here is my grandpa. He has a habit of pulling these things. You can bill the call to me if you like. dont suppose you'd klike to clean him up while you're here....would ya? " Sarrah would ask just in case she got lucky and wouldn't have to clean up the rotten mess in the old geezers diaper.
[12:41] Grandpa Carlucci despite the situations at hand, him shitting himself, the EMT and cops arriving and the other two still standing there, his head began to bob up and down as he started to fall asleep. Finally after a moment of nearly passing out, hid head finally kinked back and rested on the back of his chair. That couldn't possibly be comfortable, however apparently Grandpa didn't mind it. He was out cold. Drool already pouring from his mouth and still he sat in a shitty diaper. He snored loudly, he had a long day!
[12:43] Shadoe Ninetails smiles at Sarah "I've cancelled the response, I can see he's fine, if a bit umm, messy. " she smiles at the pleading tone in Sarahs voice "Well I could turn the hose on him, nice and cold, maybe that would teach him a lesson. but you can use the showers int he station to clean him up if youd like"
[12:43] Sarrah Carlucci: ((roflmao))
[12:44] Grandpa Carlucci: ((lmao. Grandpa causes hell where ever he goes)
[12:44] Montague DeCuir just shook his head watched the scene for a moment, before turning to see Daria sprinting away. He lifted a brow, that was attractive! He shook his head slightly, He then turned back towards the lot of them sitting in the doorway. He would just sigh, the wretched smell still hanging in the air. He couldn't help but find humor in it. He hoped they had some lysol or car air freshners or something around. They needed a fan, he would perk up and hear the mention of a house, "Hey! You got them fancy fans to clear smoke out?" He asked, perhaps it would take care of smell too? He rolled his shoulders upwards as he thought to himself.
[12:46] Daria Ezvalt finished, having cleaned up and the like in the bathroom. Her mouth now smelled minty fresh as she returned, having furiously brushed the taste out of her mouth. Still looking slightly sickly, she faced the... shit reluctantly, curiosity alone beckoning her back to see what had happened in her absence. Daria hung back, though, scared that whatever smell was lingering might upset her stomach again. "Still here?!"
[12:46] Sarrah Carlucci smiles her best and says " The hose would be nice, if it was anyone other than my gramps, I'd say go for it. I'll just roll all the windows down in the SUV and take him back to Shady Pines and let one of the nurses do the dirty work. After all, they are used to old man poo. "
[12:48] Grandpa Carlucci continued to snore loudly as he was passed the fuck out. His hand remained on his joystick for the hover round control. A slight twitch in his hand shot him forward a bit, causing him to run partly into the wall. Although after a moment he again twitched and his hand sent him wheeling backwards and down the street, leaving him halfway down the road, right in the middle of it.
[12:49] Shadoe Ninetails giggles "Here wait just a second, let me get you a tarp and towels or something to put down on the seat first, that way it won't stain the inside of the car" she trys not to snort as she heads to the station to get the promised articles
[12:51] Montague DeCuir watched as the old man passed out and just shook his head. He couldnt believe someone could sleep with shitty pants. He rubbed his hand through his hair, "The fuck." He stated before just shaking his head, he couldnt believe there was an old man who sit himself out the door. He turned to Daria and nodded slowly, "Still here.. " He would then move to slam the door rather hard, hopefully pushing some of them smell out with the gust of wind the door slamming would create. He would then lean against it and sigh. He really didn't know what to do at this point. Let them leave he guessed? He looked at Daria, they could start humping and her moaning might make them hurry up and leave too? He grinned slightly, but then remembered she had just vomited and wasnt kissing her until she brushed her teeth.
[12:53] Shadoe Ninetails opens up the back door to Sarah's SUV, spreading a plasic tarp down over the back seat of the vehicle, tucking it in to the crevaces to makse sure the seat stayed clean. She is still trying not to laugh, but hoilding it in makes her stomach hurt . SHe takes a small jar of Vick's Vapo-Rub out of her pocket and places a dab of it under her nose then walks up to the old man, "Okay Mister, time for you to get on home. Lets get youinto that car"
[12:53] Daria Ezvalt watched from where was standing as the old man wheeled himself forward and then back, both brows lifting as she laughed softly to herself. "Hopefully he won't shit himself no more since he's sleeping," she said quietly, nodding at Monty and just watching as he slammed the door. This was truly the last thing she'd expected to encounter upon waking up this morning. With a shake of her head, she walked slowly over to the couch and plopped her ass down, stealing glances every so often out the window to see what she could make out of what may have still been going on.
[12:53] Sarrah Carlucci says " Thanks, the Captain would kill me if I got crap all over the SUV. Sarrah looks back as she sees the chair and her gramps wildy swerving down the road. " Oh shit!!! " Sarrah would say taking off chasing after him. His head would slowly rock one way, then another as the powered chair turned back and forth. sarrah was lucky, and in a few seconds was able to catch the old fart and stop the chair. " Hey........gramps.....hey.......HEY!!!!! " Sarah would say trying to wake him.
[12:55] Grandpa Carlucci continued to sleep for the moment. He had a long day, and drool was rolling down his chin and landing on his bare chest only to roll down some more and collect in the seat of his pants.
[12:56] Grandpa Carlucci: ((lap of his pants* xD))
[12:57] Montague DeCuir just shook his own head and moved to the couch to sit down. He had no idea, what the fuck happened right then. He however, wasnt about to question it. He would just roll with it and give Sarrah shit later when they were on duty together. He knew that'd be one hell of a day. He grinned slowly and moved to throw an arm around Daria and pull her close, being certain to kiss her cheek. He in no way was going near her mouth. As that was just flat out gross.
[12:57] Shadoe Ninetails chases after Sarach and Gramps and then holds out the jar of Vicks to Sarah as well as a pair of gloves "lets get him in your car quick hmm?"
[12:59] Sarrah Carlucci can only imagine the talk in both the firehouse and the police station the next day after this incident. She could already hear the other officers laughing and saying " Hey...herd you pulled over an old man on a scooter and he shat himelf. " Sarrah sighed. looking back as Shadoe Sarrah would nod and gree the man needed to be in the car before he rolled off a cliff or something. " I owe you a drink the next time we're off " She would say to Shadoe as they wheeled him back to the SUV,
[13:00] Sarrah Carlucci: (( I am laughing so hard I can't type ))
[13:00] Daria Ezvalt watched as Monty took a seat next to her, leaning into him as soon as she felt his arm around her. She was feeling quite icky now, but that typically came with having puked. At least she'd brushed her teeth furiously and couldn't taste it anymore. "So how about that?" she mused aloud, shifting on the couch. A small flitted across her lips as he kissed her cheek, and she sent another glance out the window.
[13:00] Shadoe Ninetails helps push Gramps back to the car "You got a deal, I'll even be nice and leave names out of my report. YOu're gonna catch enough crap from everyone on this anyway. I don't need to add to it"
[13:04] Sarrah Carlucci smiles as they both load the ol man and his scooter into the SUV. Sarrah would lean in and completely roll down the windows. Once inside Sarrah would lean out and say " I appreciate that. " As she would wave to Shadoe and rush Grandpa back to the nursing home.
