Greetings, Midori Henusaki.
I have no idea how to do this. Can you believe I've actually never written a letter before? Sure, love letters and such. But that's it. Crazy. Anyways. You've the misfortune of a socially awkward college guy. Anyways, as you can tell by the front of the envelope, i'm Lance Lantash. I guess I'll start, after all this wittiness, with who I am.
Pretty simple, really. College sophomore. Manager of Comiquities. Photographer for Valmont Entertainment. Lover of all things technology. My main focus here at CU is Cyber Criminology and Information Systems in Security Programming. It's all interesting stuff for me, though i find a lot of my electives are.. difficult. I have the people skills and understanding of a pea, so psychology, philosophy... generally it's all lost in translation from english to geek speak. Sit me down in front of a computer and i can work wonders. Sit me down in front of a human and watch me turn into a bad impression of a car's suspension on a dirt road.
Anyways, i don't know anything about. At all. Just your name. So. I have no clue why you're in jail or anything like that. I hope it's not going horrible for you. I can't imagine it's going great, but. Hopefully it's not.. insert bad descriptive word here. In the case that is is, though, horrible, i've included a picture that I took so you can hang it in your cell. No, it's not me. I'm lacking in the boob department. But it is one a lot of people have liked of my work. And maybe the story attached to it will remind you that happy endings still exist. And not just at the Rub n Tug for 75 bucks. Not that i actually know if that's the price. No clue. Anyways.
As i have absolutely nothing else in the way of knowing what to say, i'll just sign off here and .. yeah.
Sincerely,
Lance Lantash
