The School Board would like to announce the promotion to CU Vice Chancellor of Charlie Inestai.
Ms Inestai, as well as her teaching duties, will be charged with maintaining discipline in the school and inspecting the students bodies...erm...inspecting the student body. She is permitted to conduct random locker searches and body searches on campus. She may also search dorms for contraband and will be supported by CU Security.
She will also look after faculty events
"This was never my story. It's yours. Now, don't screw it up, okay? ."