Sighing, the blonde would relax in the chair on her back patio, a warm breeze sweeping in from over the water as she propped bare feet on the table and opened the previously empty notebook in her lap. A pencil at the ready, she'd stare off into the reddening sunset before turning her attention to the blank page and begin to write.
so many thoughts, and so few people to confide in. even those closest to me i can't bring myself to talk to. i refuse to look weak, not with the Syndicate looking at my every move. okaasan has been sick with her condition and staying home, to the extent that i barely see her. else has finally turned back up and, despite living together, i barely see her either. ellie is around, but i have to show her how to be strong, and i feel like i'm failing her in a way.
our newest recruit, ling, has shot to the top, taking up the bounty i offered to quell some disrespectful behavior, and i look forward to seeing what else he can do for us. the Syndicate is moving rapidly beneath the surface of the city, despite the fact that werner and i are no longer together. hopefully that will remain the case and we will not need more protection than we can provide ourselves.
matters of the heart.. well. those are the least important things now. i have people to satisfy the most primal of urges, relieve stress. that sort of thing. but love, hah. i think i'll pass on that. it does nothing but ruin priorities and distract me from my true goal. the Syndicate must be first in all ways and i can't have people getting in the way of that. ever.
Staring at the page, she'd shake her head at herself and set her pencil down before moving to tear the page from the notebook. Picking up a lighter, she'd ignite it and hold it up to the paper until the flame caught, then setting the notebook aside to stand and move over to the water. Watching the fire eat away at the page, the words disappeared into ash slowly and then drifted away on the breeze before she cast the blank smoldering corner that remained into the water and walked back inside.