Archive for the ‘Classifieds’ Category

Classified: Rape Crisis Intervention

Are you a rape victim? Do you have pent up anger you need to express? Do you want justice? A rape crisis intervention specialist who uses unconventional methods to help rape victims, guarantees extraordinary results. Contact Latisha Williams ((Ruth Hoxley)) for your no-cost consultation.
August 7th, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Classified: Lift Your Spirits at Asylum Arcade!

Do you ever find yourself wondering: Hey, where could I find some good, clean honest fun in this gosh darn town? Well do I have a solution for you. Come on down to Asylum Arcade where the great home cooked meals and vintage video games will make you goo CAARAAZAY with excitement and fun! With a full...
August 1st, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Classified: Gein Reopened at Temp Location!

Hey Folks! Geins is back up and running, a temporary spot, but still running, over in the Super Chopsticks building, so you can now get your favorite Asian and Greasy American food all in one place. Along with Tally’s pies and special menu items. Come on over and enjoy with us!
July 29th, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Classified: Seeking Wet Nurse

NEEDED URGENTLY! Have you given birth recently? Kid stopped breast feeding but have some of that creamy milk left? Then I need YOU! I need a wet nurse for a new born baby that has come into my acquisition. No direct breast feeding is needed, I’ll supply the pump – you supply the breasts!...
July 29th, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Classified: Maternity Doctor Needed, Pies for Sale

“Lookeng four baby/pregnansy doctor who knows de mening of prifasy end dizkreshion. Kohll 879-120-9863.” ((IM Vladislav Ogrimund)) ======= Taking orders for homebaked pies! Strawberry Rubarb, Mixed Summer Berry, Peach, Pecan, and Apple. Call 555 -1834 to place your order, or stop by 2590...
June 30th, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Classified: Nanny for Hire

Full time working parents? Single parent? Not any older kids to take care of the younger ones? School out? Then give Miss MarySue Delvalle a call. With an extensive background in nannying, she has experience with babies and up. From the lovely behaved children to the brats. With that southern Texan charm...
June 12th, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

SORORITY DATE AUCTION

Fed up with those saturdays when you’re stuck watching a random chickflick with Ben & Jerry? Heard enough of your mates picking on you, just because you couldn’t get a date with that hot blonde? We have the solution for you! SORORITY DATE AUCTION! Saturday, May 29th, 2010 2PM SLT at The...
May 23rd, 2010 | Classifieds | Read More

Personals for 05/19/2010

Missing: One pair of underwear, slightly soiled and ripped. May smell like Cheetos. Pregnant woman looking to sell unborn baby. Near-mint condition. Look for Cilo near Rader Records. Acting student needs extras for next film. Must be over 18 and DDF. Looking for group to do weekly WoW raid because my...
May 19th, 2010 | Classifieds, Personals | Read More

Personals for 05/12/2010

$$Used Tombstone for sale, Perfect for someone named: Henry Bergerzinger$$ Have viagra, will travel. Women only ages 18-58. Wanted: someone to go back in time with me, this is no joke. Must have your own tin foil hat. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night in their panties. Tired...
May 12th, 2010 | Classifieds, Personals | Read More

Personals for 05/03/2010

“Big black stud seeks pint sized perky bitch for NSA fun” “BBW seeks skinny man to smother…with presents.” “Fluffy Female seeks 2 switch males to fluffer their nutters” “Do you like stench? Sexy lolita with broken shower seeks D&D free male to bathe...
May 2nd, 2010 | Classifieds, Personals | Read More