[TV Commercial] Finley, Finley, Finley & Associates – Attorneys at Law

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michaell hallison


It's another typical day in Hathian, crime running rampant, hustlers and prostitutes littering street corners, and grossly unhealthy greasy fast food being slung at the Gein and Jimmy's. Perhaps you are walking past the barber shop when you see the television ad on the old tube television that keeps Ronnie amused waiting for his next cut, or maybe you are at home and you just learned the local sheriff on your favorite day time television show has been incahoots with the canniving black widow shop keep owner who's 4th husband has just been found dead, you are somewhere, when you an american flag starts flapping on the screen with trumpets blasting the national anthem....

A blonde haired man, neatly coiffed cut and well trimmed beard walks onto screen. His suit is of decent quality, not an off the rack type you could get at any department store, but also definitely not fine italian quality that screamed wealth. "You know? Back when I served, those stars and stripes," the man pausing to point upwards on the screen, supposedly to the flag still, "stood for something. Freedom. The American Dream. But you know as well I as I do, that America has lost it's way. Well I'm here to tell you, the Constitution still protects you, the American citizen... or legal or hopefully soon to be legal resident... against prejudice and injustice. Sometimes though, you need someone to help you find out just how it does that." Suddenly from off screen, a young boy walks up, suspenders, shorts, little ball cap, "gee wiz mister, that sounds like an awful hard person to find?" The older man, kneels down, the camera panning on him and the boy, flag still flapping in the background, "Well Timmy, it doesn't have to be. My name is Charles Finley, of Finley, Finley, Finley and Associates, attorneys at law, and we're here to help you, the good people of," there is a pause in the professional style recording as a similar voice comes over "HATHIAN" and then cuts back to the normal recording. "But don't just take my word for it, listen to these testomonials."

The scene cuts to an elderly woman, sitting in a rocking chair in what looks to be a senior citizens living room, "when my kids tried to put me in a nursing home, and sell all my worldly possessions and take my money, I didn't know what to do. I worked my whole life to retire comfortably, but then they just tried to steal it from me for the crack cocaine whores. But Charles saved the day. Not only did he help me find a suitable place to live, but he made sure that my money was safe. Not even I can get to it now. Take that you rotten kids!"

Another scene cuts in, a couple of gangster looking no good young adults, "like, when our mee-maw tried to claim we were robbing her when we tried to, ya know, steal... look out for her well being, it was this dude with the beard Chuck who helped us. Not only did he get the charges dropped, but he convinced the court to pay us 5% of her savings as a fee for watching her at her new nursing home. That bought soo much crac----"

And finally, the scene cuts into a man in a prison jumpsuit, tattoos all over, "yo! When the police said I killed those 15 women and raped them in front of the school, and they were all like, yo we have evidence.." his hands raising making quotations, "surveillance, I thought I was gonna have to register as a child predator for sure. But then I called Charles Finley. He called into question what kind of school doesn't have 10ft high fencing around it's playground to keep out the scumbags, and that it was the school who subjected to the children to my misdeeds. Now I don't have to register as a child predator, which means at my execution, I can have steak without guard spit in it. Thanks Chuck!"

The ad cuts back to the man, assumed to be Charles Finley, once again standing in front of the American flag, hand on the little boys shoulder, "so before you get **bleeeep**'ed by the legal system, pick up your phone and call Chuck."

The number flashes at the bottom - 555-NOT-GLTY

((For actual rp involving Chuck's legal expertise - or not so expertise - drop me an IM or notecard when you see me out and about))

"Men only have 2 emotions, hungry and horny. If you see one standing without an erection, make him a sandwich"

June 25, 2017 at 8:55 pm
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