Giving up the old paper and pen of her Sister's journal, Kayla sat down on her sofa and curled up in the knitted afgan she brought from home. Pulling the laptop to her, she loaded up her blog on wordpress, which had a whole of 0 followers.
I find it's easier to put thought down on a pixelated piece of paper, with the use of a keyboard than writing notes in Kaynia's old journal. It's found it's place, of course, after I ripped out the entries I made.
I got a call from momma last week. Apperantly she decided to subscribe to the local rag here, and had read the story about Kaynia. I guess I should have told her the details of the death instead of pushing it under the rug and stating that my sister died in the line of duty... And that was it.
Of course she was upset..How could she not be? One child blown apart by a grenade in the sandbox, another brutally murdered in the slum streets of shithole Louisiana.
I went home, taking Kaynia's journal with me. It was time that momma knew the truth. Daddy read it of course, doing his usual grunt and cracking open another Coors. I guess he wasn't very surprised. If anyone his youngest took after him. Momma on the other hand? She hit the roof and threw the damn book at me. She claimed it lied, even though it was written in plain writing not of my own hand right there. Of course she asked about the torn pages and I was able to shrug it off.
Once she calmed, she asked when she was going to have grandchildren. Apperantly Roxy up and got herself fixed, claiming she wasn't going to have a brood like the one she was raised with. Savannah seems to be more interested in women. Connor and Josh? I don't know... No one has seen them in months.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that she had come close till awhile back. I couldn't do it. I got the typical drilling of settling down and starting a life as well. I told her I was seeing someone... A white lie of course, but she smiled and gave her knowing nod. When pressed for questions, I just said I was dating a cop from another town. Daddy was... oddly proud and proceeded to tell old police stories from back in the day.
Of course, I was hit with that rumor again the other day when I got back into Hathian.. I find it ironic and humorous that I'm supposedly dating someone whom I've only spent time with twice, maybe three times, and randomly acted on an impulse to ask him to accompany me to a function. Not that I would mind of course, but I've gotten my fill of acting without thinking and jumping into things such as this. I don't have a very good track record.
This... this place makes it hard to mind your own business and not be bothered. Not be affected. I scramble back up that slippery slope, only to find myself drifting down it once more, sideways. I find myself desiring revenge for wrongdoings.. But I lack the balls to follow through with it. I guess I atleast have ahold of my morals still.
And do you know how much it hurts to hop back on a horse and take off like you were used to? I think it's been nearly 9 months or more since I've ever seen one of the animals, let alone ride the damned stud. Note to self. Don't challenge the ranch hands to a race through the hills and up to the state line on your second day back home. Still say that snarky ass cheated.
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